Daddy, My Daddy!

We watched the delightful film adaptation of E. Nesbit's novel "The Railway Children" - the original version - again the other week.

I am always touched by the scene where the elder daughter woke one morning feeling 'strange' and said she had to be alone. She went down to the railway station and a train pulled in. The platform emptied, but as the train pulled away, there in the distance emerging from a cloud of steam, was her father. This was her father she hadn't seen for several years. She exclaimed, "Daddy, my Daddy!"

Some of us come from families that were in part dysfunctional and so haven't experienced the degree of fathering that we really needed as children. Not their fault, that's just how it was. The wonderful thing as Christians, is that we can experience the Father's love. When we reach out and express our need for Him, he comes running towards us. It's what he is waiting for.

At a time when the child in me was deeply touched and moved by the closeness of Father God, I experienced this intimate impromptu moment. I have never written a song before, but these words, simple and personal, just burst out as I walked along the beach. I offer them to you, as they are, unfinished. There was a tune too, but I didn't’ write that down.

Father Oh Father
I love you I do
I want you to come and love me too
I want to feel you close to me
To walk and talk and play with me
How I love you Father I do
I love to dance and walk with you
I love to see the twinkle in your eyes.

Son, Oh son, I feel so proud
When you come and reach out your hand;
Something happens inside of me
When you want to walk and talk with me.

Daddy, O daddy, I love you too
I love to dance and skip with you,
Come and put your arms around me.

"So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:20 New International Version

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Eye to Eye

We have five delightful grandchildren. Each one is unique and we love them equally.

One of our granddaughters is a beautiful, spirited and adventurous little girl. She started out in life however, with a slight impairment, in that she had ‘muffled’ hearing. Once this was diagnosed as ‘glue ear’ and treated, a whole new world opened up for her. It did however contribute to a communication difficulty. It wasn’t always apparent, but often she would retreat into a world of her own.

Her caring parents did all they could to help her with this. One of the ways they used, was when they needed to talk with her, they would say ‘eyes!’, meaning ‘look at me, look into my eyes!’ They knew then that they would have her attention and would be able to hold a meaningful conversation.

When we look into Father’s eyes, we are immediately arrested by two things. Firstly: we experience a look of total unconditional love and acceptance. Secondly: we feel that He can see right inside us, our heart is laid bare. We cannot hide and we just want to tell it how it is.

I feel shaky inside Father
Not sure about the future
Don’t about tomorrow
or how I will make out
The only thing I’m certain about
is now, right now
just being with you
I feel safe.

You warm my heart my son
Trust me
I’ll work miracles for you
I’ll move heaven and earth for you.

"- open your eyes and see-- how good GOD is. Blessed are you who run to him." Psalm 34:8The Message Bible

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Father and Fathering

I have a great love for my father, even though he died years ago. I have some warm memories of him, especially the times spent watching him at work in his woodshed. It was because of him, that I became competent in practical things, such as carpentry, gardening and photography.

However, as I grew out of boyhood I found him distant. I was unable to bond with him physically or emotionally. Just when I needed him most, he wasn't 'there' for me. There were times I needed a comforting arm around my shoulders, as if to stay, "it's all right, I understand." I wanted to know what he was feeling, so I would know what it was like to be a man, but his emotions were locked away. I sensed he was angry inside and at one time, even thought it could be my fault. It was only many years later, that I discovered his heart had been broken and he had covered over his grief.

My father did his very best for me, at times sacrificially. What more can you ask of a man? However, this left me growing up into maturity, with a disabling emotional 'wound.' I buried the feelings, compensated for the lack - as you do - and got on with my life.

Many years later, when facing the challenges of marriage, relationships and parenthood, the pain began to surface. Eventually, with help at first, I moved from denial into facing the pain and feeling the feelings with Jesus. This was a slow process, in which I discovered that Father God longs to father us in the way we need, no matter what kind of upbringing we have had. And in a way I don't understand, He can even show us motherly qualities.

Now, if you identify with any of this and are aware of such pain, then ask the Holy Spirit to bring it to the surface, so that He can take the pain away and replace it with His love. It could help - and this is just a suggestion - to do something like writing a letter as if it was from your father. Write down the things that you would just have loved to have heard him say to you and then look to Father God for His answer.

"My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me." Psalm 27:10 Good News Bible

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Come Apart

When I was a child I enjoyed playing with other boys and got up to all sorts of escapades in the surrounding fields and extensive parkland. However, a lot of the time, partly because of family circumstances, I played quite happily on my own. You could say that I was something of a loner. As I grew older, attended college and found a job, this imbalance was addressed. However, after I became a Christian, for some reason I picked up that this childhood trait of aloneness must be wholly wrong. There is the negative aspect, but it has been only in recent years I have understood the strengths in being a 'loner!'

I enjoy being with people, but I also seek time apart on a regular basis to recharge my batteries and to be quite alone with Father. It's sometimes a struggle to set aside time, but I have found it absolutely essential in order to nurture this life-giving relationship and to understand what my own heart is saying. I can't separate the two, they go together. This is a need within me and I always know if I am neglecting the desire, because sooner or later I am crying out inside for it - for Him!

I always prefer to find places outside to be alone. I find it helps to keep my mind sharp and stop me dozing. I have my special spots - what I call my trysting places - that seem to encourage such intimacy, like a field gate in a secluded field, a ledge on the side of the cliffs or a spot on a deserted stretch of the beach. It's the solitude that's important and that can be quiet or noisy. Silence is precious and powerful, but there are times when I feel free and safe to let rip to God in praise or to express my feelings.

We are all different and need to find our own way with God. But one thing we all have in common, is that God has put that need for Him within us and only He can fill it. That means getting alone with God. If Jesus had to 'come apart' with His Father then surely so do we?

"When Jesus heard the news about John, he left there in a boat and went to a lonely place by himself. Matthew 14:13

"After sending the people away, he went up a hill by himself to pray. When evening came, Jesus was there alone;" Matthew 14:23

"Very early the next morning, long before daylight, Jesus got up and left the house. He went out of town to a lonely place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35

"At daybreak Jesus left the town and went off to a lonely place." Luke 4:42

All quotations from the Good News Bible

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The Father's Love

The Father's love comforts
us when all seems dark and hopeless

The Father's love heals
us when we are hurting and wounded

The Father's love befriends
us when we are lonely

The Father's love accepts
us just as we are

The Father's love carries
us when we don't know which way to turn

The Father's love empowers
us to live beyond ourselves

The Father's love invites
us to follow Him into the unknown

The Father's love transforms
us into the person he made us to be

The Father's love encourages
us to fulfil the desires he put there

The Father's love waits
for our response

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you." John 15:9 New International Version

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My Father is the Gardener

My father's middle name was Gardener, and true to his name he was never happier than when he was in his kitchen garden.

As a boy, I loved watching him lovingly prepare the soil, mix in the compost and fertilizer and sow the seeds. It almost seemed like he imagined a full grown plant, as he popped each seed into the seedbed. I sensed that he was at peace as he worked with fork and rake or tended his peas and beans. He taught me the names of each variety and how some were grown for size and some for taste.

We also had a few fruit trees and he showed me how to prune them, so that they would flourish in the coming season. When the blossom came he sprayed them and inspected the branches to make sure they were free from infection. Sometimes there was so much fruit he had to prop the branches to prevent them from breaking under the weight. After his family of course, his fruit and vegetables were his pride and joy. He cared for them almost like they were his children.

He even gave me a small plot to grow quick-growing salad things. The trouble was, I would get impatient and each day I pulled up a few radishes to see if they were ready. I caught from him the satisfaction of growing our own food.

When we make a home for Jesus Christ in our hearts and cling to Him, we have the absolute security in knowing that we are in Father's total care. Our Father the Gardener knows exactly what we need to flourish and makes every provision for us. All the resources of heaven are made available to us. As we feed upon His Word and rest in Him we grow effortlessly and bear 'fruit' that spills out to benefit others.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener." John 15:1 New International Version

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Walking With God

Before I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue I had strong legs and walked for miles. I really loved the thrill and excitement of walking in the hills and mountains. There I found stunningly beautiful scenery, contrasting with the solitude and adventure of the scary wild places. I couldn't get enough.

I miss it now of course and letting it go was difficult at first. I have since however, discovered even more of the thrill of walking with God. Walking in fellowship with Father beats it all hands down and surpasses any mountain experience. There is no greater challenge, with a surprise around every bend. Nothing is more beautiful and brings satisfaction that goes deeper than anything I have ever known. Yes, it is frightening at times, but nothing compares with it.

When we walk with God
there is peace and joy within

When we walk with God
there is life in abundance

When we walk with God
there is freedom

When we walk with God
there is contentment and rest for our soul

When we walk with God
there is beauty and intimacy

When we walk with God
there is adventure and challenge

When we walk with God
we discover who we really are

When we walk with God
there is so much more -

Let us take His hand today and walk with Him

"Enoch walked with God" Genesis 5:24 New International Version

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Our Reaction to Pain

There was a small boy who was given a bike for his birthday. Just what he had hoped for. He practised at home before venturing out and kept falling off at first. He was impatient to show it to his friends, so off he went. They all inspected it and gave it the thumbs up. He felt so proud because he was now one of them. It was alright at first, but then he lost control and fell off, badly scraping his knee. It hurt, but what really hurt was that they laughed at him and taunted him. When he got home he kept quiet about it and put some sticking plaster over the wound.

For several days he didn't use his bike or play with the boys, because he didn't want to get hurt again. His knee was painful, so he put more plaster on it and tried to forget about it. The trouble was, it got so inflamed he realised it had to be seen to. In trepidation he asked his father to see to it. He thought he would be told off, but instead, he put him on his knee, gently removed the plaster and bathed it clean, removing any grit and dirt. He then placed some special ointment on it. He felt better already. His father seemed to understand what it was all about and reassured him that it would take a while to learn to ride it properly and he would help him. "Just you wait until you show the other boys!" he said.

Isn't this how it can be for many of us, where there is pain just below the surface. Some of us may even have a well of pain deep down that goes back a long way. We may not have been hurt physically, but may have been abused emotionally in some way, words of condemnation may have been spoken over us perhaps.

If it stays hidden it can begin to spread and fester and affect our lives in a disabling way. It can also lead us into unresolved anger or unhelpful behaviour patterns in trying to maintain the status quo. It stops us living to the full and reaching our potential. There comes a time when we know it has to be seen to.

Our heavenly Father is just waiting for us to bring it out for Him to look at. He will then put us on His knee and bathe the wound, remove the impurities and make it better. He will also give us words of encouragement to move forward.

"My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." Song of Songs 2:14 New International Version

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A Love Response

My wife and I visited someone who was being drawn to Christ. Almost as soon as we arrived, even though we hadn't mentioned the subject, they said they would not get their hair cut or stop smoking. We said that was entirely their choice, because being a Christian was not about keeping rules, but was a love relationship.

The junior school I attended had strict rules and we were expected to obey them under the threat of punishment. During an art lesson, where we had to draw and paint a glass jug, I accidentally knocked my little pot of water over. The teacher hauled me out in front of the class and gave me six of the best with his cane. It not only put me off art, but was one of several instances that gave me a jaundiced view of authority figures. It was only many years later, during an evening class, that an encouraging tutor showed me that I really could do art. My work flourished under his caring and competent tuition and I eventually had paintings hung in exhibitions.

If we are a Christian and say that we love Jesus, then this will show in our actions and attitudes. This is something I find very challenging. Do I really demonstrate that I trust God and put Him first in my life? Do I carry out all my dealings with people with honesty and integrity? Do I really put the interests of my wife and family and neighbours at least the same as I do for myself and do I love them as much as I love myself? For that matter, do I love myself? If I don't then it's because I need to know more in my experience just how much He loves me.

God does not force me to obey, ready to cane me if I do wrong. No, out of love he gives me the freedom to choose. He has poured Himself out for me and is always there for me. He is my Father, my Daddy who stands with open arms, longing for me to keep coming to Him as a response to His love. His love breaks me up. The more I realise His love the more I will want to walk with Him in His ways in complete surrender. And the more I abide and obey, the more I flourish and enjoy, along with others, the benefits of His care.

It's a love response
It starts by coming to Him
It continues by coming to Him
and it last forever by being with Him.

"Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." John 14:23 New International Version

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The Father's Love Song

"The LORD your God is with you; his power gives you victory. The LORD will take delight in you, and in his love he will give you new life. He will sing and be joyful over you," Zephaniah 3:17 Good News Bible

We all have a basic fundamental need. Whether old or young, man or woman, we have a need to be loved and to pass love on to others. That's how God made us. His love is life-giving and life-changing. Reading the bible in itself however, may not change us, but being loved by God will.

If we take time to sit with our bible and still ourselves, we can receive His words for us and allow them to sink into the inner depths of our being. As we soak in His presence, we may hear something of the Father's love song to us, words that could go something like this:

I love you, You are precious in my sight

I love to look gaze upon your face my darling

I delight in you, You are the apple of my eye

I will comfort you and extend peace to you like a river

I am with you, Don't be afraid I am your God

I will go before you and give you the treasures of darkness

I will give you victory. You are more than a conqueror

You are mine and I am yours.

(taken from various scriptures)

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Where is my Father?

“My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me.” Psalm 27:10 Good News Bible

My father was over the moon with joy when I was born. He called me his ‘little chippy’ - a chip of the old block! Desiring the best for me, he did all he could, sometimes sacrificially. You can ask no more than that from anyone. But as I grew into boyhood he became more distant. That wasn’t how he wanted it. But because of his buried grief and shutdown feelings, there was no emotional bonding between us. As he said, much later in life, “I’m just not made that way!”

He wasn’t there when I needed him most, when I was hurting inside. I wanted him to put his arms around me and tell me it was all right. I needed to know what he was feeling and thinking and what he was afraid of. That he felt the same as me. As it was, I concluded that it was wrong to have feelings of fear and guilt. My response was to hide them away.

It was much later, in my thirties, that I came to know a God who is all-powerful and mighty, but bends right down to hear our heart whisper. It was only then, after I knew it was safe, that I dared take a risk. I allowed those same feelings to surface and experienced Father melt away the fear and and lift off the guilt and shame.

My earthly father is long gone. I have nothing but love for him and am left with some really good childhood memories.

It still touches me deep inside, when I realise what a loving heavenly Father I have. A God who longs to Father us and be to us what we need.

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