Christian Healing - 7 Personal

These last posts have been just a few of my thoughts on Christian healing. Not quite random, as I hope I have written as led by the Spirit. I am concerned however, not to give the impression in anyway that I am an expert. There is only one expert and his name is Jesus. So I feel I need to say where I stand personally on healing - if you haven’t worked that out already:

Over thirty years ago, my wife was diagnosed with an aggressive form of the disabling disease rheumatoid arthritis and told she could be in a wheelchair within four years. This changed the direction of our lives forever, was instrumental on bringing us to the Lord and set us on a course of discovery that drew us closer to Jesus in our struggles. My wife, although the illness progressed and is physically disabled to a degree, still lives to the full and the wheelchair did not materialise. Her doctors and others are amazed.

Several years ago I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - M.E. - and since then in looking to the Lord have received some healing. It’s as if He has been healing me slowly, ‘on the drip’, as I try to walk with Father in obedience. The last two or three years have been particularly challenging for us both. My wife experiencing two accidents - one in which she nearly died - and I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It has been a bumpy ride.

In our walk we have seen God enable us in amazing ways that we never thought possible. We still believe that God heals, but in His way and in His time. We live for today. We are even less sure what God has for us ‘tomorrow’, our future is in hands, we trust Him, He has brought us through so far and will not let us down. We are forever expectant.

If you would like to hear from my wife’s viewpoint, she is the Guest Blogger on my Senior Eagle blog this week. Look under: “The Thirty Nine Steps”.

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Your Move!

When a fellow high school student taught me to play chess, I became really attracted to this 'king of games' with all it's infinite variations. I think I lacked the necessary enduring concentration to be really good, but the fascination continued into adulthood. I even played in a tournament once, where I was soundly thrashed by an eleven year old.

I sometimes think that the Christian life is like a game of chess.

The basic requirement is to have a knowledge of the function of each piece and the unique way it moves. It may seem complicated at first, but it soon becomes second nature. Before each game you need a strategy. You need to know where you are going, but at the same time be flexible and be prepared for surprises.

A good opening game is vital, this is where games can be won or lost. The way has to be opened up for the attacking pieces to have full access to the board, at the same time ensuring that your king is secure and protected. At this stage, your opponent may try to catch you unawares with some early attacking moves. So think very carefully before you make a move and have no fear, his premature moves will usually have no substance, so hold your ground.

Now we come to the middle game. It’s no good just staying on the defensive, doing nothing is not an option, as this is not a passive game. Wait for the appropriate time to go on the attack and seize the opportunity. You may feel vulnerable as you step out and wonder if there is something you have missed, but don't be put off. Be bold and have the conviction of what you know.

I used to have a good opening game, my middle game was - err middling and my end game often not so good. Nowadays I am learning perseverance and patience. You don't win them all - think about it, there would be no ‘game’ if you won every time - but you learn from your mistakes for next time.

“If a king goes out with ten thousand men to fight another king who comes against him with twenty thousand men, he will sit down first and decide if he is strong enough to face that other king.” Luke 14:31 Good News Bible

“Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses.” 1 Timothy 6:12 The Message Bible

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For Richer For Poorer

Last Saturday didn't turn out quite as we planned. There were some unexpected turns to keep us on our toes. At the end of the day I went down to the beach for a breather. There was quite a swell on and I noticed a kite-surfer way out at sea. As he raised his sail into the wind he was carried back to the beach on the crest of a wave. This set me thinking:

We enter into God's provision and blessings, as we surrender to Him. Surrender is the key. When we yield to Him He takes over and achieves what we may think is impossible in our strength. Complete surrender equals complete succour. I have often struggled with this and surrender to a loving God hasn't always come easily.

The big question was, could I really trust Him. In other words, is it safe? Of course you don't find out until you surrender. It's can feel bit like jumping off a cliff. It's not until you jump do you find out there's a safety net under you! A risky business? God often seems to do things in ways I would never dare dream of. It can be scary, even seemingly dangerous, but always safe.

I liken surrendering to our marriage vows. The words may vary, but when we marry we promise to stick with other, "for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health;to love and to cherish, 'till death us do part -." We willingly and eagerly enter into this, surrendering to each other, because we love one another. We take the rough with the smooth. My wife and I have certainly had our for 'better or for worse,' but God always has brought us through.

Surrendering is simple, but I have not always found it easy. When I do get it right there is a deep peace and even joy, as I get carried along in the flowing waves of God's loving provision.

Each time He waits for our 'yes' and then He does the rest.

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11 New International Version

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Our Glass is Half Full

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday and forgot that the main road out of the village had been closed for repairs.

We diverted into a very narrow side lane, flanked on either side by tall Cornish hedges - these hedges are built of stone and soil and overgrown with hawthorn, wild flowers etc. We were making good progress, until we came face to face with the refuse truck. He was bigger than us, so we gave way and I reversed back to where I guessed he could pass. As I pulled right in close to the edge, my wife remarked, "What a lovely hedgerow smell." Whereas I said, "or the smell of scratched paintwork?"

Now my wife has a very keen sense of smell and I did respond with my tongue ever-so-slightly in cheek. This may seem trivial, but isn't it an illustration of two ways of looking at the same event? What would God say I wonder? "Look son, what's a scratch on your beloved car? Pouff!! Just take in the life of my creation all around you!!" Get a life!"

I find that as I reach out to God for more in my life, I am continually having to change may way of thinking. I need to align my mindset with God's point of view or I miss out. In His Word, God's perspective is always creative. Everything in the Kingdom is positive not negative, optimistic rather than pessimistic, possible rather than impossible. We need to be real and honest with God of course, but as we open ourselves to Him, we come to see that the reality is that He is for us and not against us.

Our glass is half full, not half empty.

"Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits —" Psalm 103:2 New International Version

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Resting in God

I wondered what to write today, but nothing came to me. I could always think of a good idea or important topic and try and write some thought-provoking article. But I'm not an intellectual or clever enough for that and I'm not into good ideas either. I could keep on trying for an hour or so, pushing in a muscular way, in an attempt to provide something presentable. But I know when that happens, I won't be resting in God and won't be at peace.

On the other hand, if I feel in tune with Father and there is something on my heart, the words almost fly off the computer keyboard. It may not be perfect, but it will be my offering and it will have life.

I find it's the same with speaking. I have tried preaching and spent hours preparing and perfecting my pearls of wisdom. Then, on the day when I read from my script, it seems to come out flat and lifeless. I look at the sea of blank faces and just wish that I was somewhere else! - an aside: imagine a minister saying to his congregation, that God had not given him or her anything to say, so suggested they should spend the next half hour in silence? That would be a brave person?

Alternatively, if I really have something to say and I know the timing is right before God, I only have to open my mouth and the words just come. Like my writing, it may not be polished or word perfect, but it will have life. And somewhere out there, there may be only one person who engages and identifies and receives the nub of what I have to say and that's what it's all about!

I am learning.

Jesus wasn't performance-driven and under pressure, like I used to be. He only did what He saw His Father doing. He was a Man of poise. If we are at rest in God, then what we do make take effort, but it will be effortless and efficient. We will be in the flow with Him and we will know it.

"God's promise of enjoying his rest still stands. So be careful that none of you fails to receive it." Hebrews 4:1 New International Version

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Prepared for Battle

Friends of ours recently spent their honeymoon in Rome and also visited Pompeii. Their visit coincided with a television programme, depicting life in that city. It was explained, that even in the first century, Pompeii was surprisingly civilised. They had every comfort and enjoyed a luxurious lifestyle. In the lead up to the eruption of Mount Vesuvius, no one was prepared for the catastrophe. They were too busy in their indulgences and were taken by surprise. The majority perished.

I believe there are similarities today. The Devil holds sway in the world today. There is a tremendous battle gathering impetus, between light and dark, good and bad. The Devil's scheme is to spread fear and strife. His deception is to keep people in the dark about the reality of the saving love of Jesus Christ, so that their eternal hope and security will be placed in materialism, money, people or any other falsehood that will divert them from the truth. The majority are unaware of this spiritual battle.

The battle is intense for Christians. As they belong to Christ, they are on the front line and he has to try and divert them from following God and destroy that relationship at all costs. He will attempt to deceive, pervert and rob, often in most surprising ways; even from within the Church itself. Unfortunately, even some Christians are not aware of the reality and seriousness of this.

Several years ago when we were praying in a group, one member described how they believed God saw the Church. The first was a picture of soldiers wearing shining bright armour, standing erect with arms linked. The second - which probably related to how it was for us - was one where everyone was lolling around, totally disconnected from each other. Some had discarded their armour and were playing games and others were lying on the floor nursing their wounds.

What can our response be to this? May I make the following suggestions:

1. Stay close to God and nurture that intimate relationship, with all means possible.

2. The areas where we are weak can provide 'windows' for the enemy to enter. We need to identify these and ensure that they are dealt with and closed.

3. Many of us cover up emotional pain, often originating from past hurts. We need to allow God to cleanse and heal these wounds, so that we are strong in Him.

4. Be aware and alert and pray at all times.

5. Ensure we are not harbouring bitterness and do all we can to keep unity.

6. Wear the armour of God at all times and use the weapons He gives us.

"Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?" 1Corinthians 14:8 New International Version

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:10-12 New International Version Version

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Blossoming Through Difficulty

It's now June and I suppose I can now go out without a coat? That is if the old English saying "Ne'er cast a clout 'ere May is out!" is true? I only recently discovered that this has nothing to do with the months of the year, but refers to the May blossom. It was early this year and we had an abundance. The blossoms appeared as usual, on the bare leafless branches of the blackthorn and were a welcome and beautiful sight in spring.

Some while ago, I went through a very difficult period. Medically I wasn't sure what was happening. On top of that, the work I was involved with came to an end and I seemed to have lost any sense of being. For a while I was unable to drive and later on my walking was restricted. With all these 'props' removed, I found it all very depressing and bewildering and experienced what I called a mini-breakdown.

However, as I got used to the blackness and devastation and kept reaching out to God, He blessed me and reassured me of His presence in ways that I could never have dreamt of. Months later, after He had brought me through, I just knew He had done something concrete inside me. I began to experience a closer walk with Father and discovered talents that had remained dormant for a long time. I doubt whether any of this would have happened otherwise.

It seems that sometimes, God allows us to experience being stripped bare, to draw us closer to Him and to experience His promise, that if we put our trust in Him, we will blossom in a new way.

"He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour." Isaiah 61:1-3 New International Version

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The Circle of God's Love

There's a form of wrestling - I think it originates in Japan, but there are similar sports in rural areas of Europe - where the opponents spar in a circle. The whole object is to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, while pushing your opponent outside the circle. The first to achieve this three times is the winner of the contest.

God's love is like a circle. It has no beginning and is never-ending, limitless. No matter what we do or who we are or where we are, His love reaches out to us. If we remain within God's circle of love, in right relationship with Him, we partake of all the benefits and experience His peace. We may stray outside the circle because of our own disobedience or sin or we may get pushed out by the enemy. At such times we may feel ashamed and powerless. We may even feel we have failed. But the moment we turn to God and step back into the circle, we are reinstated and His peace begins to flow again.

Back within the circle we are effortlessly enfolded in his wonderful love. The only effort is stepping back when we stray outside.

"Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, -- The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbour his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him." Psalm 103:1-11 Of David. New International Version

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God's Creation In Our Lives

Our garden is semi-wild, with views of countryside and sea and is a real delight to us. It's not always been that way though. When we first arrived we had to work long and hard to construct terraces and plant it out. However, because it is steep and takes the brunt of the salt-laden south westerlies from the Atlantic, it's a hostile environment and many of the plants didn't survive.

Not to be put off, I cleared one of the largest beds and started over again. First of all I weeded it thoroughly before preparing the soil by digging deep and raking it over. Because the winter was much wetter than usual, I wasn't able to do any more to it until spring. It was then that we found a variety of plants shooting up. Intrigued, we decided to wait and see what developed. Several weeks later we had a splendid display of unusual wild flowers, some of which we had never seen or even heard of before. Majestic foxgloves, tall fluffy Mullein Verbascum thapsus Scrophulariaceae, the delicate Solomon's SealPolygonatum officinale Liliaceae, wild strawberries and of course primroses.

The seeds had been there all the time, waiting for the right moment. Just think, all that was created without us having to do anything, other than prepare the soil! God knew better than us what would thrive in the environment of our garden.

God is the great Creator. If we are yielded to God and allow Him to cleanse and prepare the soil of our lives, we will experience His working in our lives in ways that we never thought possible and with the minimum of effort and stress.

"For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him." Colossians 1:16 New International Version

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Committed to Follow

Dartmoor is almost on our doorstep. It's one of the few real wildernessess left in England and it was my ambition to walk across it from north to south. I researched the route and reckoned it was achievable in a day, provided I was adequately prepared.

I set out on a fine summer's day, booted and fully equipped with Gortex waterproofs, map, compass, and rucksack packed with food, drink and emergency kit. The archetypical hill-walker, looking the part and ready for anything?

I soon eased myself into a relaxed stride, drinking in the familiar solitude around me. There was a long way to go, so I was careful to conserve energy and pace myself. After an hour or two I descended to Plym Head and looked around for a way up to the ridge above. A prolonged scramble and I was standing on the top by Boulder Rock, surveying the scene. I was at a watershed between two vast catchments. Stretched below in front of me was the real wilderness area. It was completely unknown to me, with no marked paths, rough going, with treacherous bogs and mires that can swallow up whole stray cattle.

This wasn't just lines on a map, but the real thing and although I was excited, I suddenly felt very much alone and scared. Thoughts went through my mind. "Would I have enough strength, how will I find a way, will I get lost, perhaps I should turn back while I can, it's too risky on my own?" This was decision time. I dismissed the doubts and fears. I was committed to this and if I was going to be true to myself and the desire within, I had to go on. Through the haze I could just make out a faint point in the far distance, that could be the line of the old quarry rail track. I fixed a compass bearing on it and stepped down into the unknown and passed the point of no return.

Step by step I descended into the valley, picking my way through the rocks and skirting the bogs and potholes. All the way I didn't experience a single diversion or wrong move. What followed was an unforgettable walk through stunning wild scenery. At the end of the day, well before sunset, I sat on a low wall feeling very tired but fulfilled, waiting for my son to come and pick me up.

If we say we are a Christian, surrendered to God, then He will be looking for a deliberate commitment to following Him into the unknown. During our life there will be challenges to our commitment There may even be a deliberate defining decision, that will be pivotal to the rest of our life. It can be frightening to step into what seems unknown, but we have His Word and His promise to be with us all the way.

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: "He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." Psalm 37:5-6 New International Version

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Filling the Void

Our new dentist is the friendliest and most gentle of dentists we have ever met. At our last checkup I knew there was work to be done, as I was in some discomfort. As I entered his surgery, he greeted me with a smile, "How are you?" I knew he wasn't just enquiring after my dental health, he had a real interest in 'me!' As I made my self comfortable in his chair, he asked again. This time I knew he meant business, so I pointed to the offending molar. After a quick check, he said I needed a filling, but there was no need for an injection. "Are you sure?" I queried, as past memories of a toe-curling root canal filling passed before me. "Trust me" he said.

I lay back and just tried to concentrate on Jesus, as he set to with his drill to remove the decay. After cleaning out the cavity he filled it and seemingly in no time at all he was saying "Rinse your mouth out!" I was surprised there had been no pain, but was glad to be able to move my mouth again. I left his surgery walking on air. I felt a new man.

If we have an aching void somewhere inside, Jesus longs to fill it for us. First of all though, he has to clean out the decay. Also, whatever substitute we have used to plug the gap has to be removed. All we have to do is offer it to Jesus and he will replace it with an infilling of His peace and love. Jesus is the kindest man I know. He really understands, so we are safe in His hands.

"- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:19 New International Version

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Facing the Fears

Mummy was expecting another baby and her toddler was taken far away to live with an aunt he didn't know. The aunt was a capable mother, but she was very strict. The little boy was used to sleeping with the door open and a dim light by his bed, but he wasn't allowed a light and the door was closed. Everything seemed very strange and he was frightened and wanted his mummy. After three weeks he was taken home, but he never really understood why he was sent away.

Several years later, whilst he was lying on the floor in the kitchen, a pan of boiling water on the range was overturned. His arm took the full force. He didn't cry, but his mother screamed and panicked. They were taken by a friend to the hospital, where he lay in shock. They didn't encourage visitors and he was very lonely. They turned the lights out at night and he was frightened. After several weeks he was released home. He had a nervous tic, but no one knew why.

It was so scary he certainly didn't want to go back to that place. He worked it out that somehow it must have been his fault, so provided he was a good boy he wouldn't be sent away again. This way of seeing things took hold into manhood. There were times, especially if he sensed a confrontational situation, when he thought it better to say what was expected. Deep down he was afraid that if he spoke out what was really in his heart, they may get angry and even reject him. So fear was getting in the way of him being his real self.

I leave you to work out who the little boy was, but I only tell this story to show how fears can take hold of our lives and partly disable us. This was about the fear of rejection, but trauma and fears come in many forms and we cope in different ways.

When we become Christians the love of Christ comes in to us, and the potential for change is available to us. As God highlights what is really happening in our lives and we dare to face the fears and open ourselves to His truth, we enter into more freedom. The emotion of fear is part of us and can have positive results. Fear can also be destructive and disabling, but the more we immerse ourselves in Father's love, it melts away.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 New International Version

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Praise Ye The Lord!

We can learn so much from children. One of our little granddaughters came up to me the other day and said "I love you Grandad." The next day when I came down for breakfast the other said, "You do look handsome!" It warmed me and I responded in kind. All this is natural I'm sure, but it made me think about the subject of praise and I offer these very random thoughts.

The word 'praise' appears nearly 300 times in the Bible, mostly urging or inviting us to praise God. It's also written into the liturgies of our historic churches. I remember attending services where the minister announced, "Praise ye the Lord" and the congregation's ragged monotone response came, "The Lord's name be praised!" You could be forgiven for thinking it was the milkman being welcomed. On the other extreme we have been in meetings where the response came in the form of a spontaneous personal outburst of cheering and tumultuous applause, for an awesome and loving God.

But what about praise in our personal walk with God?

I've often held back through a fear of pretending, because I wanted my praise to be an honest heart response. But sometimes I just speak out what I know to be true. Sometimes I've felt my love didn't amount to much, but offered God what I saw as my puny capacity to love. After all I was only giving back to Him what He had given me. We are instructed to praise God in all things. But when my wife was carted off to hospital with a broken leg and arm and goodness knows what else, I didn't thank God for what was happening because that just wouldn't have been honest. But I did thank Him in faith - and desperation - that He was with us in the situation and would see us through. And He did, in an amazing way!

Once, during a lunch break at work, I met with a colleague in a small room, just to share and pray. We didn't know how to start, but made seemingly childlike offerings. Almost immediately we experienced a great warmth spreading through us. So much so, that we felt we ought to open the window to cool things off, until we realised what was happening. We just knew He was with us and what followed was a precious time of sharing.

Praise changes things. When we acknowledge God, express our appreciation, make a heart response to His love, things happen in the spiritual realm. We enter into a realisation of His presence, all enemy opposition is demolished, Father God is warmed, we are encouraged, our faith is built up and power is released. Perhaps we should do it more often?

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100:4-5 New International Version

"Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in." Psalm 24:7 New International Version

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Our Reaction to Pain

There was a small boy who was given a bike for his birthday. Just what he had hoped for. He practised at home before venturing out and kept falling off at first. He was impatient to show it to his friends, so off he went. They all inspected it and gave it the thumbs up. He felt so proud because he was now one of them. It was alright at first, but then he lost control and fell off, badly scraping his knee. It hurt, but what really hurt was that they laughed at him and taunted him. When he got home he kept quiet about it and put some sticking plaster over the wound.

For several days he didn't use his bike or play with the boys, because he didn't want to get hurt again. His knee was painful, so he put more plaster on it and tried to forget about it. The trouble was, it got so inflamed he realised it had to be seen to. In trepidation he asked his father to see to it. He thought he would be told off, but instead, he put him on his knee, gently removed the plaster and bathed it clean, removing any grit and dirt. He then placed some special ointment on it. He felt better already. His father seemed to understand what it was all about and reassured him that it would take a while to learn to ride it properly and he would help him. "Just you wait until you show the other boys!" he said.

Isn't this how it can be for many of us, where there is pain just below the surface. Some of us may even have a well of pain deep down that goes back a long way. We may not have been hurt physically, but may have been abused emotionally in some way, words of condemnation may have been spoken over us perhaps.

If it stays hidden it can begin to spread and fester and affect our lives in a disabling way. It can also lead us into unresolved anger or unhelpful behaviour patterns in trying to maintain the status quo. It stops us living to the full and reaching our potential. There comes a time when we know it has to be seen to.

Our heavenly Father is just waiting for us to bring it out for Him to look at. He will then put us on His knee and bathe the wound, remove the impurities and make it better. He will also give us words of encouragement to move forward.

"My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." Song of Songs 2:14 New International Version

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Restoration and Comfort

We live on the coast and love to spend time on the beach. No two days are the same as the seasons, weather and tides change. On some days the water is calm, still and clear, just inviting us in. Like on summer days, when it's warmer, whole families paddle and cavort in the crystal clear shallows. On the other hand, like this week, it's icy cold and restless, with angry waves crashing onto the shingle, leaving behind piles of debris and rotting seaweed. I have learned that on such days, for my own safety, I have to keep my distance.

There can be debris - unhelpful or ungodly attitudes and habits for example - in our lives, which, unattended to can build up and block the flow of God's love within us. We usually know it's there, but may pretend it's not or try to cover it over with activity or other diversions. The problem then, it can fester and spread, causing us to lose our peace and we become restless.

When we humble ourselves, take courage and face these things with Jesus, we find such forgiveness and cleansing that releases freedom and blessing. God's peace returns and we become calm and still inside. Others may even want to draw close and enjoy being with us.

"I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. -- I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him -- But the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud." Isaiah 57:15-20 New International Version

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The Gentle Potter

I enjoy painting in oils or pastels, but I had never tried working with clay until the day we attended a creative workshop. We were asked to join an activity that was completely new to us. I was given a lump of clay with the suggestion that I model anything that for me, represented God. I looked at this inert lump and froze inside. I stared without inspiration for ages until the time nearly ran out. In desperation I grabbed it, broke it into two pieces and almost without thinking, shaped it in a childlike fashion. From start to finish it only took a few minutes.

When I stopped to look at the completed product I gasped and was touched to the core. It may have been rough and ready, but the two figures seemed alive. A small child sitting on Father's knee. The child was looking up into the Father's eyes in absolute trust as Father held him. The embrace was so open and gentle that the child was free to move or even get off. That model represented how and where I wanted to be with God and He wanted that even more than me.

In some ways we are like the clay. But instead of being totally passive, we need to cooperate and yield into the gentle hands of the Master Potter. God accepts us just as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us where we are. He sees the masks we wear and the games we play, that cover up the desires deep within our hearts. He longs for us to be our real selves, as He made us to be. When we first realise the pretense that we live and become broken inside, it hurts. But as we stop resisting and surrender to Father, we become more pliable in His hands and get used to His touch.

How we are going to turn out, we can leave to Him. Except we can be sure, that as we keep our eyes on Father, He will reshape us into something beautiful!

"Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel." Jeremiah 18:6 (b) New International Version

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The Husband's Challenge!

Getting married was the best thing I ever did. It has brought real fulfilment and happiness, but of course it hasn't all been married bliss. I didn't expect it to bring to the surface all my inadequacies, failings and above all my own emotional wounds. At times it has seemed more like a battlefield and it was only Jesus who has brought us through so far. I can now honestly say, that after so many years, we are closer together than ever.

So why the other day, did we suddenly have a such wordy confrontation, a spat, mini-row or whatever you may call it? I couldn't remember the last time that happened! What my wife said hurt me and I reacted strongly with words I regret. I was holding a chair at the time and just for a split second I could have thrown it across the room. For an hour or so I reverted to my old behaviour pattern and retreated to my den to nurse my hurt. The temporary rift was so painful, I just wanted to blank out the feelings.

Of course I know that attitude just doesn't work and anyway, I was not going to let the enemy have his way. I brought out the feelings with Father and worked them through with Him, before going to find my wife. We both knew that we hadn't spoken to hurt one another, but were speaking out of our own pain and frustration at the time, through tiredness and illness. We talked it through, listened to one another and forgave. That felt so good!

I once asked my wife what she looked for in a husband. The qualities didn't come as a surprise; courage, boldness, kindness, honesty and romance were just a few. But her answers and what I have gleaned from other women, lead me to the conclusion that the two qualities a Christian wife values above all others is submission and intimacy.

I believe a wife feels secure and close with a husband who is walking with God in surrender and obedience to Him and also is in touch with his own feelings and thoughts, which he will openly share with her and listen to hers. I know there's a lot more than that, but I go back to these two things time and again.

Getting to know God, getting to know ourselves, getting to know our wives -- getting there!

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up - In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. - For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:25-31 New International Version

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Tradition or Life?

A friend of ours has constructed what she calls an Easter Garden on a terrace at the top of her steep garden. For several years we have gathered there before breakfast on Easter Sunday, for the breaking of bread, to celebrate the Risen Lord Jesus. Last year particularly, was an unforgettable experience. As we prayed and sang, the sun rose above the trees across the valley and the birds sang their hearts out. We planned to do the same this year.

We were mindful that Easter falls very early this year and half the country is in the grips of snow-laden northerlies. Nevertheless we believed it was right to go and trusted it would work out. After all, God can look after a mere detail like the weather? We woke early - and I mean early - to the encouragement of a clear sky and still air. Dressed in layers of thermal clothing and fleeces we set out, but as we drove up the hill the sky suddenly darkened and the rain came down in torrents. It was even worse when we arrived, so reluctantly we had to abandon our plan. Instead, around twenty of us squeezed inside our friend's cottage sitting room.

What followed was precious and intimate. We made our communion which was followed by breakfast together and a time of sharing what God is doing in our lives. We missed the surroundings of the garden of course, but instead we experienced what really matters, abiding in the presence of Jesus. we were blessed in a way that we didn't expect.

This reminds me of the dangers of following tradition. Tradition can be saying, "This is the way we have always done things and always will," even when God has moved on to something new. There is nothing wrong with tradition as such, but if that is all there is, then it is death and not life. Jesus always did what He saw His Father doing and so should we, if we don't want to miss out.

"Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!" Matthew 15:2 New International Version

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