The Greatest Gift

Most of us need someone to be there for us at some time in our lives and maybe, even be available to listen to others? Surely, this is the greatest gift we can give to another? To really listen.


I want you to listen.

You see ...
I have an ache inside;
a sort of pain,
that really hurts.
It’s been there ...
since I was a child.
I’ve tried to ignore it,
cover it over,
but it won’t go away.
It’s coming to the boil.

Can you listen and
put your agenda to one side?
Give me your attention,
and be there for me?

I don’t want you to fix it
or make it better.
I just need to know
I’ve been heard,
and just possibly ...
understood.

I need to know
I’m safe with you,
that you won’t tell,
because I’m afraid
and ashamed
of what may come out.

But ...

You’re looking at your watch.
Your gaze is elsewhere.
Am I boring you?
Yes,
I know you have problems.
Perhaps another time?

Wayfarerjon

"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear." - Winnie the Pooh

“Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1: 19 New International Version

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Listen My People

Our French teacher at grammar (high) school loved her subject and her pupils. She was strict but we knew she had our interests at heart. Somehow we couldn’t help but catch her infectious enthusiasm. As she breezed into the classroom, gown flowing behind her, “Bonjour mes eleves,” we all stood and replied in unison, “Bonjour Mademoiselle Saul.”

She was dedicated to getting us all through the final examination and although she was very understanding and patient, she expected the same dedication from us. For example, she didn’t just want us to write the language, but wanted perfect pronunciation - not easy for our lazy English tongues. She made sure we were listening, “Ecoutez mes eleves,” and woe betide any student who persistently failed to pay attention for the full forty minutes. A brief display of calculated anger and an Order Mark or even worse, the dreaded Detention would come winging their way.

When the day of the exam finally dawned, I found I could draw upon much of what I had stored away from the lessons. And to our surprise and the delight of our French Mistress, we nearly all passed and had our certificates to prove it.

Does God have our full attention and do we really listen?

He has sacrificed His only Son, given us His Presence, His Word and made His Power available to us and put everything in place for us to receive a ‘certificate.’ It’s a done deal! What more do we want? So why, when things are going well, do we sometimes relegate God to second place in our lives? Or why when the going gets tough, do we complain and forget - Oh woe is me! - how He has led us and provided for us in the past?

Our answers of course are varied and personal. But it is just possible that we may hear something, that if acted upon, may change our lives for ever.

“Listen, my people, to my teaching, and pay attention to what I say.” Psalm 78 Good News Bible

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Getting Connected

I had a list of phone calls to make this morning: car service station, insurance company, power company and the photo processing firm to ask if they had lost my photos, just to mention a few. All in all it took over an hour and wasn't very productive.

One of the calls went something like this: dial and followed instructions - press star key - listen - press 2 - listen - press 1 - "I'm sorry but our advisors are very busy today" - and even later, "we really value your call" and "thank you for your patience"and "why not use the internet?" and finally, after 16 minutes, just as I was about to give up, I got through to a human.

I was so overwhelmed that I struggled to answer her opening question. I tried to put my case, but had difficulty getting answers to my two questions. The operator was very much on the defensive, very efficient in an assertive way. She had all the facts on her screen, but the trouble was that her agenda was different to mine. We were just not compatible, we weren't in tune. She doggedly seemed to refuse to get my point, although did agree to get someone to look into something for me. I chalked it up as half-solved. After all it wasn't all her fault, as I was left with just a niggle, that I could have handled it better?

Now we have a God, whose not a call centre operator, but the CEO who is always on the line, always available and gives us His full attention. He is never too busy and will never hang up on us. We don't have to wait for a connection as we have a hot line straight through. He is just longing to hear what we have to say. In fact He knows what we are going to say before we speak. He looks right into our heart and knows our thoughts and what is going on in there, but He waits for us to express those heart desires in words. The trouble is, he often has to wait a long time, so it's a good thing his patience is endless.

So how do I score? Do I stay connected throughout the day and include Him in everything, or do I trot out my shopping list of prayers and requests and then get on with my life, the way I want to. Do I listen, really listen to my Father? If I really care how my Father feels and thinks, I will give time to connect, heart to Heart. Now there's real powerful connecting!

"From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence -- a private audience!" Psalm 18:6 The Message Bible

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Living Stones - 3

I live in Cornwall, England, where many of the roads, especially the old narrow lanes, are bordered with Cornish hedges. These are not really 'hedges', but double-skinned walls made of Cornish slate and soil. They are built in a centuries-old way by tradesmen who keep this traditional craft alive.

The master craftsman has a large pile of stones of varying size and shape to hand. He picks up a stone, inspects it and with an experienced eye, chooses the best place on the line to lay it. He is so skilled, he knows just the right location where it will fit snugly and form an integral part of the structure. Once the two outside skins of the wall are completed to height, the space between is filled with soil and topped off with a layer of turf.

Because no cement is used, it's a kind of living wall, as the individual stones are free to move ever-so-slightly against each other. This constant contact rubs off the sharp corners and rough edges and as the wall is weathered by the elements, the stone changes colour from nondescript grey into a lovely warm brown. Many varieties of wild flowers soon take root in the joints and provide a home for all kinds of wildlife. These hedges are a beautiful sight, to be enjoyed throughout the year, from primroses in early spring to berries in the late autumn.

Isn't this how it is for us? God knows where we will flourish and bear fruit and also chooses just the right people for us to relate to and grow. I have kicked against this in the past. There was a time when my wife and I felt things were getting too difficult where we lived. We thought we were in the wrong place and thought perhaps we should move to another town. After much seeking and prayer, we eventually realised that our real motive was to escape. We would have taken our problems with us.

One of the things that bothered me, was that God seemed to place me with people, especially loquacious Christians, who had so much to say for themselves and showed absolutely no interest in what I had to say. At least that was my perception. Even when we met in a prayer group, so and so would pray for ages, including everything under the sun and all the problems known to man. What was there left for me to pray? My reaction was often just to keep quiet, although I was far from 'quiet' inside.

This situation motivated me to listen. First, to listen to what my own heart was saying. And secondly, once I had resolved this with God, to feel for others and hear what they were really saying inside and speak up at the right time. In other words I was being changed and learning to listen, pray and speak, in that order. It's a divine combination, which I will get right one day.

I am now at peace where we are. That's not saying it's all strawberries and cream, but we are where God wants us to be - today!

"- you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 2:5

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Church Without Walls

We may never go to 'church' or we may attend a church service twice on Sunday, plus mid-week. But either way, is that it for the week? There are still over 100 waking hours left for Church.

What about:

The unexpected exchange in the street,
while traffic whizzes by.
A tuning-in, a gelling of minds during
a few minutes when
something happened deep and true.
You parted feeling lighter, even warmed.
Was that not Church?

The lunchtime gathering at the office,
an impromptu meeting of like-minds.
Just being together,
sharing of lives, joys and fears.
That was Church

The knock on the door,
just as you were off out.
Someone in distress,
so you dropped everything
and lent a listening ear
and perhaps some prayer.
This is Church

Husband and wife
intimately share feelings, hopes and fears.
Praying together and
asking God what He has to say.

Are you getting my drift?
In all these God-arranged or inspired
linkings, meetings, exchanges of His people,
outside of any committee, structure or organisation,
He was there.
This is Church

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20 All quotes New International Version

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Whose Voice are we Listening to?

We have had so many intrusive calls from tele sales, that we signed up to a national scheme to stop them. It has really worked on the whole, but some still get through the net.

The other day we had a call from an insurance company we hadn't dealt with before. The salesman launched into his spiel, saying that our home cover was due and he could offer us a better deal. After giving him a fair hearing, I said that we were happy with our current firm, so weren't interested. Undeterred, he continued in full flow. I tried again, but he was aggressively trying to get his point over. I asked him where he had obtained our details and would he please remove us from his database. He rang off. The next day another salesman from the same firm phoned and it all started over. We went through the same process again before he rang off. The day after, yet another of their salesmen called. As he gathered momentum I stopped him and said we were quite satisfied and I was not interested. Undeterred, he said I needed to hear what he had to say. I broke in and told him that he just wasn't listening to me and I didn't want to hear from him again. He eventually gave up and rang off.

The salesman was so blinkered and focussed upon his own agenda, that he was unable to take in anything else or even consider what his potential customer really wanted. This made me wonder if we can be like this?

Is it possible to be so wrapped up in our own agenda and patterns of behaviour, that we miss what God is saying to us? If so, we can be in danger of filtering out the voices, so that we hear only what we want to hear. This means we are open to be swayed by what the world and the enemy are saying. The world for example, speaks to our 'addictions' and says "that's OK, you are only human!" This viewpoint can be bolstered even more, if we are also surrounded by those of the same mind.

If we make sure all areas of our lives are yielded to God - and He usually only has His finger on one thing at a time - and come to him open-handed, with a clean sheet, He will not disappoint us. We may be in for some surprises and could do things that buck the trend, but we will be living. Only God's Word brings life.

"He who has ears, let him hear." Matthew 13:9 New International Version

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Heard But Not Listened

Our grandson is somewhere between toddler and small boy and I love him and really look forward to spending time with him. Apart from being lively, endearing and very good looking, he is great fun. When he says "I love you Grandad" it melts my heart. Then he'll say "Play with me Grandad?" That usually entails him coming up behind me and jumping on me from a great height, as I feign surprise. My muscles make me think I am getting a bit too old for this sort of thing?

On the other hand, there are times when he can be most exasperating. He gets so focussed on what he wants and what he is doing at that particular moment, that nothing else matters. He is not interested in anything else, no matter how important or vital. For his own good I try to reason with him, but to no avail. I try tactics to divert him away from his course of self destruction. It works sometimes, but often he will have none of it. Only the other week I told him to put his shoes on before going outside, but no, he knew better. Within minutes he was back crying with a bleeding toe! It's not a question that he's not heard me. He just does not want to listen!

Even though I am a great deal older, some of this sounds very familiar to me. Am I really open to listen and take notice of what my heavenly Father tells me? There was a time, not so long ago, when I was so wrapped up in the Christian work I was doing, that I ignored the longings of my own heart and so was not open to what God was saying about it. What I was involved in was good, others agreed, but it was not right for me and if I hadn't been given the grace to listen, I'm not sure where I would have ended up. I was hearing, but assumed those words were not for me.

Far more than a loving earthly father - or grandfather - Jesus has our very best interests at heart. God is always speaking and will use whatever means are just right for us. It's more a question of us wanting to know, being open to Him and taking time to listen. When we take notice and take on board what He is saying to us we prosper and flourish.

Oxford Dictionary definitions:

hear = to perceive sound with the ear
listen = attentively hear a person speaking, give attention with the ear, take notice of, to respond to advice or request.

"If my people would but listen to me -- you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." Psalm 81New International Version

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Listening to Others

Before I begin I must make two things clear. Gravy is the brown liquid that's made from meat juices, stock and gravy browning, that you pour onto your roast beef. Custard is that peculiarly British concoction made from yellow powder and milk that you pour onto your pudding or desert. I'm not keen on either.

I found the family Sunday lunch as a boy was usually a stressful time. My mother who had slaved away in the kitchen to produce the feast hovered anxiously, wondering if it would meet with my father's approval and my little sister squirmed in her seat as she wouldn't eat her greens. Once my father had complained about the roast and the knife and had finished carving, he would settle down to tuck in. It was his habit to read the Sunday newspaper, eat and carry on a conversation, all at the same time. This particularly Sunday he was so engrossed in this multi-tasking, that when he reached out for the gravy he took hold of the wrong jug and poured custard on his meat. I was aware of the tension around the table, even thinking it could be my fault and couldn't get down soon enough. Don't worry, I have had prayer for this.

The point of the story is that, when we are listening to someone, they deserve our full attention. That chance meeting may seem inconvenient, but it could be God-arranged. Just for a moment we may need to forget our busy schedule and set aside our own agenda. Nothing else matters except that person in front of us.

I am so aware that I need to put myself out of the frame and avoid the temptation to come in quickly with my own experience. There may be no need to speak or answer, but just listen with my heart and mind. I know that on the occasions when I have been listened to, when what I said was accepted without question and there was a degree of tuning-in and understanding, I left feeling warmed and valued.

This is one of the greatest gifts we can give another. I also believe this is one of the greatest needs within the world, our communities and in the church, but sadly it's also one of the greatest lacks.

Let's give this precious gift today!

“The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Ernest Hemingway

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?" Mark 4:23 The Message Bible

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Listening to God

There's a friend of ours who, when enquiring how we are, often says "Things may be difficult, but are you moving?" By that he doesn't mean moving house, but moving with God. Are we working with what he is showing us in our circumstances and growing in the heart knowledge of His love and wisdom.

There have been periods in my life when I have felt stuck, when nothing seemed to be happening and the everyday problems and the humdrum loomed large. I wanted to hear from God but nothing came and God seemed to be nowhere.

The problem was with me of course. I had taken the back seat, not God. God was speaking, but I was just not hearing. There could be at least two reasons for this. I was not giving God the priority in my life that He deserves and seeking His heart response to me. Someone once said to me that he knew the Bible through and through and there was nothing new for Him. I felt very sad. He was a very intelligent man and had a tremendous knowledge in his head, but at that time his heart was closed to God. God's Word stands for all time and does not change. But if we are open to hear, He is always saying something new to us, that speaks right into our situation.

Maybe we don't hear because we are not in touch with our own hearts. This could be because we have closed an area of our lives to God or because we are just not in touch with our own feelings. When I have been in this situation I have given the Holy Spirit full permission to move me in those shutdown areas and emotions. His response has often been to heat up my spirit in a way as never before and get me focussed on Him. What I eventually hear may not be what I expect, it may be joyful or challenging, but it's always in love and always agreeing with His Word. This brings life and thrills me to the core.

It's good to be on the move again. It's life-changing.

"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says - " Revelation 2:11 New International Version

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