Words that Hurt
“But no one has ever been able to tame the tongue. It is evil and uncontrollable, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8 GNB)
When I was at school, we used to shout out, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will not harm me,” in reply to hurtful playground taunts. It just was not true of course. Words spoken over us, especially when we were children, can stay with us and have a negative, disabling effect in later life. Sometimes the words don't have to be spoken, but can be picked up from the attitude of parents, teachers and those in authority.
Here are just a few of my examples from my childhood: “Big boys don’t cry;” led me to think that it was wrong to even say, I was hurting, let alone cry. “You are no good at art;” was picked up from a school teacher. Years later I would hold a pencil, longing to draw, but not knowing what to do, because I might fail. “It’s my fault, there must be something wrong with me;” picked up from the family “atmosphere.”
It was only after I became a Christian, that I understood the extent of what was going on. I realised there was a solution and I could do something about it. After I had forgiven the people concerned, in my heart, I renounced those lies and released myself from the hold they had over me.
As a result I began to be freer in my feelings and have probably filled several buckets with tears. I started to paint with the help of a good tutor and have since exhibited some oil paintings. The false guilt was lifted and I began the journey of finding out who I really was in God.
Now, if words come to me, that have the potential to hurt, I try to remind myself what is really true. What God says about us, the truth in His Word, always brings freedom.
When I was at school, we used to shout out, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will not harm me,” in reply to hurtful playground taunts. It just was not true of course. Words spoken over us, especially when we were children, can stay with us and have a negative, disabling effect in later life. Sometimes the words don't have to be spoken, but can be picked up from the attitude of parents, teachers and those in authority.
Here are just a few of my examples from my childhood: “Big boys don’t cry;” led me to think that it was wrong to even say, I was hurting, let alone cry. “You are no good at art;” was picked up from a school teacher. Years later I would hold a pencil, longing to draw, but not knowing what to do, because I might fail. “It’s my fault, there must be something wrong with me;” picked up from the family “atmosphere.”
It was only after I became a Christian, that I understood the extent of what was going on. I realised there was a solution and I could do something about it. After I had forgiven the people concerned, in my heart, I renounced those lies and released myself from the hold they had over me.
As a result I began to be freer in my feelings and have probably filled several buckets with tears. I started to paint with the help of a good tutor and have since exhibited some oil paintings. The false guilt was lifted and I began the journey of finding out who I really was in God.
Now, if words come to me, that have the potential to hurt, I try to remind myself what is really true. What God says about us, the truth in His Word, always brings freedom.
