A Delightful Inheritance

My wife and I have just returned from a delightful week in a cottage shared with friends. We were in the heart of the Herefordshire countryside, which in my opinion is rural England at it’s very best. However, I’m biased as this was also the area where my family originated, going back to the 1600's and earlier.

The amazing thing is that in some ways the countryside has changed little since those days. The country lanes, often lined with ancient oaks, on the whole are the same, except the dirt surface has been replaced with tarmac. Some old farm buildings are still standing including timber-framed houses in various states of repair and even older churches.


It was a really good feeling to soak in these pastoral scenes, including cattle and sheep grazing in lush green meadows by the side of a meandering river, all bathed in brilliant sunlight. It was idyllic, but don’t be deceived. That was the rural setting then, but the realities of living in those times for most were hard and come the industrial revolution the working conditions were often appalling. My ancestors were God-fearing, hard working, stoical artisans, but life was hard and they were used to ever-present poverty and grief. I am thankful for and welcome the former inheritance - which, together with my upbringing has helped shape me - but have sought freedom through Jesus from the latter.

It’s good to look back and be thankful, but I was reminded that as Christians we have an incredibly delightful inheritance. We have a new home with Father that is as old as the hills, but lasts for ever. What’s more we don’t have to wait for our inheritance, we can experience this life-changing ‘gift’ right now, giving us a taste of what is to come. There have been difficult times when I have thought my lot was far from being a ‘pleasant place’, but am learning that God only allows what He can use to bring us closer to Him and prepare us for our everlasting future with Him.

I find that just to think and meditate on this touches me to the core.

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6 New International Version

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Out On a Limb

I grew up in a small mill village, which some might today regard as an idyllic childhood. We were free to roam in complete safety in the streets, vast parkland and surrounding countryside and get up to all sorts of tricks. My mother used to tell people that I was ‘such a good boy!’ Little did she know!

One day we were playing on the outskirts of the village. In the middle of the field we discovered a scruffy apple tree and there on a high branch was just one apple. I was dared to climb up and get it and not to be outdone I started to clamber up, cheered on by my friends. It was higher than I thought and felt a bit unnerved as I gingerly wrapped my legs around the branch. I really felt out on a limb as I inched my way along the bough, which was beginning to bend. Just then the farmer appeared, striding across the field. He looked angry! The other boys ran off, but I had my eye on that apple. Just as I grabbed it the branch broke and I fell to the ground on my stomach, winding myself. The farmer was fast approaching, so I ran off, but forgot the secret way across the boggy stream and was soon up to my knees, with the farmer standing on the edge, waving his stick. I extricated myself and made my way home wondering what my mother would say about the state of my shoes and socks.

I can look back now and see how significant that episode was. As a child I had a sense of adventure that somehow, over the responsibilities, trials and pressures of my adult years got dimmed. However God, in His infinite love and wisdom saw into my heart and wasn’t going to let it stay that way. He didn’t want me to stay in my ‘comfortable nest,’ so He allowed circumstances to come along to bump start me into ‘risky living!’ Whether it was trying to find my way through very trying circumstances or in stepping out on a project that was on my heart, I have often found myself out on a limb. It was fine at first, especially with friend’s encouragement, but as the going got tough that support tended to evaporate. I then felt all alone, going where I hadn’t been before - into the unknown. Holding onto that branch was scary, even frightening. I looked behind, but could see there was no going back. I looked down, but that made me feel panicky, so I fixed my gaze on that apple and somehow, in a way I don’t understand I finally had my hands on that fruit - and sometimes I didn’t!

I believe God wants us out on a limb, trusting in him. We may feel unsafe out on the ‘branch,’ but remember it is connected to the solid dependable tree of life. We may even fall, but we ‘fall up’ into His arms and in our journey we will have moved on, ready for the next time. He will never ever let us down.

Let’s go for that golden apple.

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you;” New International Version

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It's Lonely In Here!

I wrote this very personal piece some years ago, when I was catapulted into chronic fatigue and loneliness that defied a human solution.


Whereas before, I was aware of the presence of God, it felt He had gone - this was my own Dark Night of the Soul.


I knew I had to trust Him to take me through the chasm of pain to the other side and that He did over a period of several months.

It’s lonely in here, very, very lonely
as if I’m the only person
in the whole wide world
and I’m frightened and hurting
I feel so helpless
I want to go back to how it was before, but I can’t
I want to escape, to run away.

Where are you God?
You seem so far away!
Why have you left me all alone?

In reality he is close
not the feeling, but the real thing
Jesus kneeling at my feet
“What would you have me do for you?”
What a God! at my feet!
Waiting patiently for the word
Waiting, waiting…
Yes, yes Lord, but .. but I need a lifeline
but yes, yes Lord, yes!

And as the yes’s and the trusting grew
and except for the odd backward glance,
the journey entered upon,
standing empty in the barren desert,
feeling the feelings with Him
I remind myself
He will not let me down,
He will not let me be tempted more than I can bear
and …

as my eyes become accustomed to the darkness
I find beauty to behold,
diamonds and precious stones
hidden behind the pain,
memories that heal and not hinder,
heart to blessed heart
words of love
the pain starts to lift
and the anxieties start to melt away.

Until the time when I feel His embrace
- and do you know
it can actually hurt to be loved!
But Lord don’t stop.

Is this the end?
no, it’s just the beginning.

“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3 New International Version

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Have You Made It?

It was our young granddaughter’s birthday over the weekend. She is keen on drawing and painting, so we decided to give her some junior artist’s materials and took great pleasure in choosing them. I also discovered a website for children’s creative art. Their advice was: don’t give them anything to copy, but let them express themselves freely, don’t enter them into any competition and encourage them and validate what they do. This is brilliant advice. It’s one way in letting them know they are loved and accepted for who they are, without having to perform, earn love or follow some cardboard cutout example.

I’m not sure there was any definite plan in my career. I am of average intelligence, but conscientiously applied myself using the skills I had. I enjoyed what I did. My father often asked me ‘had I received promotion yet?’ It was obviously important to him, but only served to reinforce my childhood feeling that I had ‘not quite made it.’ I did eventually get my bosses job, a senior management position, but this was after my father had died so he never saw that.

I had a dream at this time - it’s one way that God uses to get through to me - that alerted me of the need to get free of striving to perform to please and be accepted. It went something like this. “I was smartly dressed, with a very heavy bag over one shoulder and was trying to make my way out of the works depot up a steep slope to my father - Father God? - at the exit gates. I was smiling at Him, as if to say ‘look at me I am doing so well.’ But try as I could I just could not make it, even on all fours, and kept slipping back.”

I discovered that I don't have to make it, because God has already 'made it' for me. We can never earn God’s love, it's given freely. Yes, we have to work out our salvation, but it's a love response and even then it's God who works in us. The only effort is to make sure we are abiding in His love.

"for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:13

"Freely you have received" Matthew 10:8

“After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” Galatians 3:3 New International Version

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Peeled Bananas

Oh the joys of doing the weekly shop. My wife and I go together. With a trolley each, we start at opposite ends of the supermarket and compare notes when we meet in the middle. While deliberating over my purchases I often notice a lone husband on his cell phone to his wife - presumably , “Darling, which sort of cornflakes did you say?” while I smugly work through my list.

I’ve long realised that a degree of detective work is needed in the supermarkets. Often, at first sight, the contents of the packages and cans may not always live up to the expectations of the outside labels. For example “Pure natural blossom honey?” What does that mean? ‘Honey’ yes, but doesn’t all honey come from blossom and is there such a thing as ‘unnatural’ honey? That leaves ‘pure’, which I take it to be a euphemism for ‘honey blended from various sources and heat treated.’ What is ‘farm fresh corn-fed chicken’ supposed to mean? Are they reared in batteries, deep litter, free range and are they organically reared? So what you see isn’t always what you expect.

All very mundane. But are we real and open to people and God , WYSIWYG like a peeled banana? Do they see us as we really are?

This was brought home to me the other day, when during a good-humoured exchange with a friend, he said “You are a top bloke, but when I first knew you years ago, you were a bit stuck up!” He had a point. I used to be very closed and not in touch with my feelings that much. I’ve changed since, a process that is ongoing.

I remember in my second year as a shy boy in high school, a teacher wrote in my annual report, “I wish he would come out of his shell.” Sounds a bit like a tortoise or a snail! I did emerge as I grew up, but there were certain sides of me that were unconsciously kept well hidden , perhaps because of shame or false guilt. By adulthood I already had coping mechanism in place to deal with this deficiency.

The problem is, being closed separates. It can be a barrier to open communication and conversation stays mainly from the head and not the heart. Of course, if we are closed to people we will also be hiding those areas from God. The solution is to invite Jesus into those hidden hurting areas of our life and find freedom to be ourselves, which as I discovered is an ongoing process.

“- by their fruit you will recognize them.” Matthew 7:20 New International Version

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Please Do Not Disturb!

My wife and I have recently returned from a trip upcountry. It was a very enjoyable but intensive four days, so on the way back we booked in at a hotel. This was for three nights of unaccustomed luxury for rest and relaxation. Unfortunately I developed a tummy bug on the way there and really needed the rest. To make sure I was able to relax fully I selected a notice to hang on the bedroom door - “Please do not disturb!”

Recently, a friend of ours told us how a new neighbour was in raptures of how he had been so greatly blessed at several Christian meetings. The friend remarked that he thought it all a bit way out and anyway he was a Methodist and "that's not how we do things!" Someone else referred to one of her friends who enthused about a book she had read that had really touched her and recommended she should read it. She replied that she was an Anglican (Episcopalian) and it wasn't for her.

Now, It's not for me to point the finger or say where I think they are with God. That's their business. But what about me? I want to be discerning and open to what God has for me. But I need to be careful that I'm not closed and wearing a “Do not Disturb” label.

It's so easy to stick with the status quo and stay with what we are familiar with. When we feel challenged we may give a reason or even quote a verse of scripture to justify our stance. But if God can use a donkey to speak to someone, I'm sure he can use whatever or whoever to bring a word to me to try and move me on into His will and blessing for me.

There is always more, but do we really want it - Him! Are we open?

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34

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Swine 'Flu - the End Times?

Some experts are saying that swine ‘flu is a sign of the end times that are now upon us. There are others who doubt this and say that in worse crisis than this centuries ago, people were saying the same! I am no expert on these things - there is even a long word to describe this sort of theological study, but I can’t think of it - but it has sure got my attention.

You only have to look at what is happening globally at this time in an unprecedented intensity - financial upheaval, tsunamis, earthquakes, global warming, famine, corruption, terrorism and wars in many countries, etc. and now swine ‘flu - to realise something is up. The battle between good and evil is really heating up. Is this the waning of the western civilisation or what?

I personally believe that we are in the end times. I’ve no idea of the time span or the details, but that’s not the point. I can only live in the now, but seeing what is happening in the world from God’s perspective really sharpens things up. This is no time for complacency. No time to be burying our heads in the sand.

I believe God is looking first and foremost to His Church. Are we lukewarm? Are we in the centre of His will? It’s a time to question what are we about. It’s time to be looking at our priorities. It’s a time to be making sure that we are firmly rooted in His love, because I think it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

I believe the word is - Repentance.

"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.” Luke 21:25-27 New International Version

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Mind the Gap

For the Christian there is always a gap, a disparity between who we are now and the unique person Father God has made us to be. There's a gap between what God has made possible and how we actually behave. But He longs for us to enter in and is committed to closing that Gap, as we walk with Him.

Following Jesus is the simplest thing we can do, but it's not easy and I begin to wonder when someone tells me otherwise. For some, their journey appears to be smooth and effortless, some get diverted and opt for the status quo, but others find at times they are treading a hard rocky path. I fit more readily into the latter category, so it's no surprise that I feel for such people and often write with them in mind.

Dealing with events or situations that God has allowed to help us grow and move us on, can be a blood-sweat-and-tears struggle. So it's helpful to share with others something of our walk, including the difficulties and vulnerabilities we experience along the way. I have found when someone has dared to be real like this, it's like a breath of fresh air. There's a connecting and identifying and a realisation that humanly ‘I'm not alone in this’ or 'I'm not abnormal!' This is why I try to write honestly and personally, but at the same time looking to Jesus.

I can look back rejoicing that God has always brought me through the trials, often in amazing ways. At the time I felt the devastation, helplessness and desperation, but giving up was never an option, it was unthinkable. It was God who did it, but now and again He used others to encourage just when needed. Then there were the others -.

At a time when I had been diagnosed with a chronic illness and my world seemed to be falling apart, I met someone with a terminal illness. He said that as soon as he was told he immediately surrendered it all to God and that was it. I was impressed, but it didn't help me. I needed to hear something of the process he went through to get to that point. Another Christian slapped me on the back and said, ‘count it all joy’ brother. Biblical truth, but there was no ‘connecting’ or identifying and it left me thinking that he couldn't cope with the situation and had to keep his distance.

I heard a ‘testimony’ from someone going through divorce proceedings, who announced that he had the victory in it, God was in control and he was at peace. His quivering lips showed me that was his hope, but it wasn't yet true in his experience. It would have been more helpful - and he would have carried more listeners with him - if he had dared take the risk to say where he was really at. It’s not a lack of faith to admit our weakness.

I'm still learning.

"Blessed are they who know their need of God, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3 (my paraphrase)

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Turning Point

I had been doing well in my battle with chronic fatigue, but I reached a plateau and wasn’t progressing. In fact I had found that particular summer extremely difficult and much of the time I was in a fog of fatigue and finding it very wearing. My wife and I had booked to attend a Christian seminar and although it involved a long journey, we decided to go anyway, believing we were meant to be there, although not sure why.

On arrival we discovered the schedule was quite intensive, with more talks than we expected. By the second day I found the only way I could deal with the stream of information was to snuggle into an armchair with my eyes half closed, but my spiritual ‘antennae’ out and look interested - business meetings had trained me for that. An extra session had been squeezed in before lunch, on forgiveness. Nothing new here, so I snuggled down deeper, but suddenly I was wide awake and alert. I asked the speaker to repeat her last sentence. “There are sometimes when we need to forgive God.” This was new to me. Forgive others, receive forgiveness and forgive myself, yes, but forgive God? Where does that come?

I later talked this through with the speaker and over the coming days found space to look at this alone with Father. I found myself saying something like this: “Father I’m not sure whether I can take anymore, I’m battered and worn out. You’ve promised to help me, strengthen and even heal me, but you are doing nothing. How much longer? What more do you want me to do? What do you want - blood?” This opened the floodgates and the realisation that I was angry and even worse, I was angry with God, for allowing me to suffer. Please don’t mention Job!

As I worked this through with Father - and the amazing thing is that He, my Daddy, took it all and I believe was even smiling - I saw that He wasn’t holding me back, but was waiting for me! I ended up seeing things from a fresh new perspective, with a changed attitude, and was more trusting and surrendered without being passive.

To think that I had to go all that way to get in touch with those buried feelings, which proved to be a catalyst, a turning point for me. The battle moved on to a new phase.

I believe God wants us to be real with Him so that He can be real with us. It’s not head-to-Head, but heart-to-Heart.

“All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments.” Psalm 73:14 Today’s New International Version

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Pen of a Ready Writer

My wife and I have been invited to a special birthday celebration for the wife of a couple that were very much a part of our Christian walk 10 to 15 years ago. They asked us if possible to bring a photograph of us taken at the time when we first met.. In a search for the dates I reached for one of my old prayer journals.

I kept a very full journal in those days and as I read I became engrossed in all the detail. It spoke of struggles and stumbling and of lots of Christian activity. There was also a common thread running all the way through, of being drawn into intimacy with Father.

This led me on to considering where I am with the Lord now, after all those years. I was both encouraged and challenged.

I have ‘moved on’ since then and am more surrendered and settled inside, with less hang-ups, but still aware of some of the old persistent weaknesses lurking at times. In other words I am more aware of who I am and free to be me. The old difficulties are in the past; I’ve just got a whole load different ones and more so. This means I am much more reliant on Jesus than ever. The challenge is greater. But this is the main difference - He means more to me now than ever, He is all I need.

I just want to be wholly available to Him and be the ‘pen of a Ready Writer.’

It does help to look back with Father now and again and consider and take stock.

Where are you now?

"My tongue will be the pen of a ready writer
And what the Father gives to me I'll sing
I only want to be His breath
I only want to glorify the King"
from “I Hear the Sound of Rustling”
by Ronnie Wilson

“My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” Psalm 45:1

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Bunnies and New Life

It's delightful to see new life springing up, after such a hard winter. Our hedgerows are full of primroses, violets and May blossom and bluebells are soon coming. This is picked up in many Easter cards, depicting pretty flowers or even little happy bunnies, which makes me wonder what they have to do with Easter? What on earth does this have to do with Christianity and the Risen Christ? Well of course Jesus came that we may have new life, abundant life in the hereafter and the hear and now. But what does that mean?

Some years ago, we were at a home group and this same question was posed. What do we mean by 'abundant life"?

Surprisingly, some kept quiet - possibly because they thought their answer may be wrong - but those that replied, came up with a variety of answers, such as: “following Jesus” - “being declared not guilty” - “being able to run again” - “getting over my grief” - “being with Jesus when we die” - “freedom from the fear of death” - “reaching my full potential” - "knowing Jesus" - and so on.

There were others and you could argue that some were not theologically correct. But that’s not the point, they were all valid expressions. Some were said with feeling, even passion and had one thing in common. They had a dissatisfaction within. They couldn't quite define it, but they knew they longed for more. They had a God-given desire.

It seems a paradox that knowing Jesus brings the satisfaction, but alongside that there is a Holy hunger for more. Acknowledging and expressing that desire is a step nearer abundant life.

What do you mean by abundant life?

Easter blessings.

"- I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 New International Version

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Christian Healing - 5 Abiding

Abiding is absolutely key. This is where our Christian walk starts and continues to be maintained. When we make our home with Jesus the Bible comes alive and we begin to be in tune with God.

In our need for healing, it is in this heart to heart relationship that God hears our cry. This is where we hear His Word and especially those living personal Words just for us. Words that bring hope and life into our situation. But this is where the battle really commences. Satan just does not like this.

We may become aware of Satan’s lies, as fear and doubt try to get a hold. Taunts like “Who do you think you are?” or “Come on get real, you don’t really believe this do you?!” But as we continue to abide in Him surrounded by His love, we are safe from all the flaming arrows and missiles that come our way. They just cannot touch us. As we shelter wrapped in Father’s cloak we are assured of His comfort and His victory.

Pain and discomfort can cause us to sink and make it difficult to keep our focus on Him. Pain is very wearing and at worst it feels like trying to see through a fog. At such times I feel the only thing to do - and the best - is to surrender in complete trust. Throw ourselves into Father’s arms knowing He will fight the battle for us and bring us through.

Our focus of course, is not on the promised healing, but on the Promiser and Healer, so the bottom line is absolute surrender. This gives the Holy Spirit absolute freedom to move in our lives, whenever and however. The opposite to this is complaining - which I am well familiar with - and only serves to prolong the process. Unconditional yielding to God is tantamount to saying, ‘I yield to you Father whether you heal me or not.’ This may seem paradoxical, but it’s no different to saying we have to ‘lose our life to gain it.’ Knowing God will do what he said he will do, means we can do this. We trust Him. This is such a simple childlike heart action, but I for one have found it not easy and has often taken some crisis to bring it about.

I’ve said nothing so far about the medical profession and healing. I have no doubt that God works through doctors and treatments. Where would we be without them? But I’m not sure I would describe it as divine healing. Doctors do not have all the answers and some prescribed drugs are toxic with side effects that can have a drastic effect upon our quality of life. Enough said.

God does a proper job.

“Whoever goes to the LORD for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him, "You are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust." He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers and from all deadly diseases.” Psalm 91:1-3 Good News Bible

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, then you will ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it.” John 15:7 Good News Bible

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Christian Healing - 2 Desperation

Thoughts on Christian Healing continued:

It may sound obvious, but healing cannot really begin unless the ‘wound’ is brought out into the open and shown to Father - and in the case of emotional healing, the pain is owned and expressed.

Usually if a child hurts itself, he or she goes running to their parents and shows their ‘wound’ to them. The child is comforted, the wound bathed and cleaned and made better. There may even be a discussion on how it happened and how to avoid it happening again.

In this simple straight forward action there is an acceptance that something is wrong, a complete trust in the parent that it will be healed and also a degree of desperation.

We sometimes need to get desperate. Like when I crushed my thumb or when a large rock fell on our son’s hand or when my wife developed a life-threatening condition in a foreign country. In each case, mustering whatever faith I had, I reached out to God with every fibre of my being, until I was assured that I had made connection, He had heard and it was in hand. In each case healing was manifest. I believe God always answers our heart cries.

With long term illness it can seem more compicated. But is it possible that sometimes we have to get desperate before we turn to God and really mean business? For some reason we may have been in denial or thought ‘this is as good as it gets.’ We may have tried all medical avenues, followed any number of special diets, dabbled in various alternative practices, but the illness still persists. Do we have to get desperate before we go all the way on a healing journey God's way, no matter what?

More to come - -

“Give praise to the LORD; he has heard my cry for help. Psalm 28:6 Good News Bible

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Christian Healing - 1 Basics

I'm writing a series of brief posts on the subject of Christian Healing. Not the ‘Gospel according to Wayfarerjon’ I hasten to add, but neither are they merely theoretical. These are a few thoughts that have come out of my struggles and searching as a pragmatic Christian needing healing - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am still learning.

You may have your own thoughts and I will be pleased to hear your constructive comments.

Wherever Jesus went he forgave man’s sin and healed the sick. You can hardly turn a page of the Gospels without reading this. For Jesus, forgiveness and healing went together, as part of the salvation package. It’s strange how some of us separate the two and find it much easier to have faith in God for forgiveness, but not necessarily for healing.

I believe most strongly that Jesus still heals today. The Bible tells me so, the Spirit within me witnesses to this and I have experienced to a degree, such has given me a longing to see more. We can’t add to this salvation. I suppose it’s like having money in the bank - an indestructible bank. All we have to do is make a withdrawal.

There’s more to come --

“Christ himself carried our sins in his body to the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness. It is by his wounds that you have been healed” 1Peter 2:24

“Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” Psalm 103:2-3

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Secret Thoughts

Look at me folks,
working hard for the Lord.
I’m so much in demand,
there’s no time to be bored

Listen to me folks,
I’ve the right turn of phrase
to speak to your need
and keep your faith ablaze

Look at my badge folks
that I so proudly wear.
I’ve an important role,
but there’s so much to bear.

Notice me folks,
I so need your support
I’m wearing myself out
and wondered what you thought.


Look at Me my son
Allow Me to be centre stage
and do a work through you.
What you do may not be seen,
will not be all the rage,
but there will be peace in your heart.

“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 New International Version

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Daddy, My Daddy!

We watched the delightful film adaptation of E. Nesbit's novel "The Railway Children" - the original version - again the other week.

I am always touched by the scene where the elder daughter woke one morning feeling 'strange' and said she had to be alone. She went down to the railway station and a train pulled in. The platform emptied, but as the train pulled away, there in the distance emerging from a cloud of steam, was her father. This was her father she hadn't seen for several years. She exclaimed, "Daddy, my Daddy!"

Some of us come from families that were in part dysfunctional and so haven't experienced the degree of fathering that we really needed as children. Not their fault, that's just how it was. The wonderful thing as Christians, is that we can experience the Father's love. When we reach out and express our need for Him, he comes running towards us. It's what he is waiting for.

At a time when the child in me was deeply touched and moved by the closeness of Father God, I experienced this intimate impromptu moment. I have never written a song before, but these words, simple and personal, just burst out as I walked along the beach. I offer them to you, as they are, unfinished. There was a tune too, but I didn't’ write that down.

Father Oh Father
I love you I do
I want you to come and love me too
I want to feel you close to me
To walk and talk and play with me
How I love you Father I do
I love to dance and walk with you
I love to see the twinkle in your eyes.

Son, Oh son, I feel so proud
When you come and reach out your hand;
Something happens inside of me
When you want to walk and talk with me.

Daddy, O daddy, I love you too
I love to dance and skip with you,
Come and put your arms around me.

"So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:20 New International Version

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Are We Ready

A friend of ours has died. We hadn’t known her many years, but we like her very very much. She was a really genuine person and we loved her.

My wife and I visited her in hospital a few days before she died. She was frightened and having difficulty breathing and longed to be out in the fresh air, back home amidst familiar surroundings. Our hearts went out to her as we so easily identified with her longing and the fear of letting go. We held hands and talked about Jesus and finally prayed with her, before leaving.

Jesus of course, came to set us free from the fear of death in all its aspects, so it’s best to face any fears while we can. I’m so glad of my experience some years ago, when Father led me into a situation where I had to deal with and come through the fear of loneliness and fear of death.

When I was younger I thought I was immortal, but physical death can happen at any time. It’s during this lifetime that we need to prepare in readiness. I had a conversation with an older acquaintance the other day and he spoke of wanting to die painlessly at a certain age. I replied that I will go when God decides I am ready to go and not until then. I don’t know what it will be like when I come to the final letting go, but hope that it will just be a continuation of being at peace in the presence of Jesus, to actually being with Him face to face.

Are we ready?

“Since the children, as he calls them, are people of flesh and blood, Jesus himself became like them and shared their human nature. He did this so that through his death he might destroy the Devil, who has the power over death, and in this way set free those who were slaves all their lives because of their fear of death.” Hebrews 2:14-15 New International Version

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Firsthand Christians

One of the marks of a Christian is a longing to meet with others of like mind and a hunger for God and godly teaching. Unfortunately in the early years - and not so early - I was often easily influenced. I hung on every word of anointed speakers and devoured the latest books of other’s experience as they came of the press. I even quoted from what I had read or heard as if it was my own discovery. The problem wasn’t necessarily with the teaching, but that I was living off the benefit of the struggles of faith of others. That was good, but to some extent I was a copier or ‘secondhand Christian!’

I’m sure that any pastor or minister worth his salt doesn’t want to control his flock or want them to be a clone of himself, along with all his own imperfections. Rather he would strive to encourage them in their own walk with Jesus and discover their purpose in life for themselves. But copying is prevalent. I have even known instances where members of a fellowship have dressed like their pastor.

I shudder to think of some of the church activities I have been involved in - “this is what we do” - and looking back I wonder whether God was in any of it. Because I felt a definite call of God I put myself forward for the ordained ministry in the Anglican Church. I couldn’t see at the time what else it could be! After two trying years of being processed, a bishop informed me that the answer was ‘not yet’ and that I should ‘go back to the desert.’ I found that an unhelpful remark of which I had no understanding.

I have benefited from a number of Christians who have encouraged, counselled and prayed with me over the years. These were people I respected and looked up to and were available at just the right time. Eventually however, for one reason or another those connections passed on. The supporting props were no longer there.

In my resolve to follow God in obedience I found myself in a sort of wilderness. And as the truth of the situation finally sunk in, I felt the desolation and loneliness. It was only then I had some idea of what that bishop was rather insensitively getting at. So began an earnest focusing on Father and a journey of personal discovery that would not have happened otherwise.

Now I’ve said before that I have always been a fan of Elijah. Admired his close relationship with God, boldness of speech, miracle-working and compassion. I even identified with his fear of a woman and escape to a cave. But I ignored the years he spent wandering in the wilderness being moulded by God.

Elisha followed his mentor Elijah wherever he went. He wouldn’t be put off and wanted what he had got. Elijah said he could have that, provided he kept his eyes on him as he was taken up to heaven. A difficult thing to do with all the fireworks, flashing lights and activity going on all around Elijah! Elisha then had to cross the Jordan and go it alone and find his own way.

We are all different, but I feel that if we want to be God’s man or woman, a ‘firsthand Christian,’ there may come a time when we find ourselves isolated for a purpose.

“Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his own clothes and tore them apart.” 2Kings 2:12 New International Version

“It is better to trust in the LORD than to depend on human leaders.” Psalm 118:9 New International Version

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Are You Saying - ?

The following statement may be acceptable to most people, even though it is challenging. This may be particularly so, if like me, you were brought up with a strong work ethic, even believing you will only get ‘somewhere’ by your own efforts.

The Kingdom of God is a magnificent thing, more valuable than anything we could ever own. If this is what we desire then we must be prepared to give up some things that are standing in the way. This is true, but I believe there is a truer interpretation of the verse quoted at the bottom of this post.

Are you saying to me that Someone
has been seeking me out all this time
and watching over me all these years
because he wants me more than anything else,
wants to lavish his love upon me for ever and ever
and has given up all that is precious, even his life?
For me?

Are you saying to me that this Someone
has a great longing for me and
thinks I am amazingly beautiful and lovable,
a rare treasure beyond compare?
What me?
With all my defects, warts, ugly thoughts and failings?
Me!!!!

This is too hard for me to understand
I just can’t get my head round it.
But somehow, it touches something deep down within me
more than I can say.
I ---

"Also, the Kingdom of heaven is like this. A man is looking for fine pearls, and when he finds one that is unusually fine, he goes and sells everything he has, and buys that pearl.” Matthew 13:45-46 Good News Bible

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It's All Good News

When I was a student engineer on the railways, I worked in a large open plan office for a time. I sat next to Malik who always had a cheery smile. Whenever he received mail he would show me the envelope and ask me, ‘good or bad?’ if I replied ‘It’s good news Malik’ he would mark plus one on the envelope. He’d then do the rounds of the whole office, asking the same question. If someone said ‘bad news’ he marked minus one and so on. When he had finished he counted up the marks and if he had a surplus of plusses he would open it. Maybe he was a bit superstitious, but I think it was just his way of a joke.

I used to say that if we could take just one verse of the Bible - say John 3:16 - and let it sink in deep down in the depths of our being, it would change our life. I still believe that, but in a way I think I had a hidden agenda. It was my way of justifying leaving out some of the verses I perceived as being unpalatable. Like verses that included the ‘D’ word - ‘discipline.’ It wasn’t that I didn’t have a ‘head’ knowledge of them, but I avoided allowing the Holy Spirit to apply them in reality in my life. I suppose I saw them as bad news.

God of course, has always gracefully brought me back to those ‘tricky’ Words. He knew when the time was right, when I had just the right amount of desperation to want answers. It was only then that I gained fresh revelation, a deeper understanding and a deeper peace.

So I am learning that all of God’s Word is ‘Good News’ as it brings us more into the abundant life and closer to Jesus.

“You spoke to me, and I listened to every word. I belong to you, LORD God Almighty, and so your words filled my heart with joy and happiness.” Jeremiah 15:16

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

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