Christian Healing - 4 Discernment

God is always speaking to us, if only we are open to listen. It will always be in accord with His Word, but in a way that is right for each of us individually. There is every reason to believe therefore, that He will speak to us when we are sick.

Some refer to God’s healing as a mystery, but there is no mystery in that God heals today, as it’s written in His Word. All we have to do is believe. What we don’t know is how and when God brings this into fruition within us so that it is evident. Some healing seems to be almost immediate, in others it happens gradually over time and others are waiting for years. Healing may be a process, but it’s not a procedure, but in the context of a intimate loving relationship.

There was a time when I was listening to and praying for others and more or less followed the same pattern. This seemed to work for while, until I realised that I had to listen to God and learn to flow with what the Holy Spirit was doing. Discernment is essential. After all, Jesus only did what ‘he saw His Father doing.’ So I am always wary when I hear someone giving the impression that, ‘this is how it is done or this is the pattern!’

I believe that as we progress in our Christian walk He is more and more concerned for our relationship with Him and our whole well-being. He knows us better than we know ourselves and sees the Big Picture. He knows the future plans He has for us. It may be that our attitude or behaviour pattern is getting in the way and He may want to deal with that first. To use a simple example: if I am banging my head against a brick wall harming myself, I may take painkillers to stop the headache. But God doesn’t want us to keep popping the pills, but deal with the root cause. Again, if we harbour unforgiveness against someone, especially towards our parents, we may need to forgive before we can receive the healing.

What I am trying to say, is that we need to believe, but God may have something to say to us in our situation, there may be steps for us to take before we can receive. God is full of surprises and loves us too much to leave us where we are.

"He told me everything I ever did." John 4:39

"Our Father in heaven: - may your Kingdom come; may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. - - If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you.” Matthew 6

"There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men." 1 Corinthians 12:6 New International Version

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Secret Thoughts

Look at me folks,
working hard for the Lord.
I’m so much in demand,
there’s no time to be bored

Listen to me folks,
I’ve the right turn of phrase
to speak to your need
and keep your faith ablaze

Look at my badge folks
that I so proudly wear.
I’ve an important role,
but there’s so much to bear.

Notice me folks,
I so need your support
I’m wearing myself out
and wondered what you thought.


Look at Me my son
Allow Me to be centre stage
and do a work through you.
What you do may not be seen,
will not be all the rage,
but there will be peace in your heart.

“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 New International Version

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Firsthand Christians

One of the marks of a Christian is a longing to meet with others of like mind and a hunger for God and godly teaching. Unfortunately in the early years - and not so early - I was often easily influenced. I hung on every word of anointed speakers and devoured the latest books of other’s experience as they came of the press. I even quoted from what I had read or heard as if it was my own discovery. The problem wasn’t necessarily with the teaching, but that I was living off the benefit of the struggles of faith of others. That was good, but to some extent I was a copier or ‘secondhand Christian!’

I’m sure that any pastor or minister worth his salt doesn’t want to control his flock or want them to be a clone of himself, along with all his own imperfections. Rather he would strive to encourage them in their own walk with Jesus and discover their purpose in life for themselves. But copying is prevalent. I have even known instances where members of a fellowship have dressed like their pastor.

I shudder to think of some of the church activities I have been involved in - “this is what we do” - and looking back I wonder whether God was in any of it. Because I felt a definite call of God I put myself forward for the ordained ministry in the Anglican Church. I couldn’t see at the time what else it could be! After two trying years of being processed, a bishop informed me that the answer was ‘not yet’ and that I should ‘go back to the desert.’ I found that an unhelpful remark of which I had no understanding.

I have benefited from a number of Christians who have encouraged, counselled and prayed with me over the years. These were people I respected and looked up to and were available at just the right time. Eventually however, for one reason or another those connections passed on. The supporting props were no longer there.

In my resolve to follow God in obedience I found myself in a sort of wilderness. And as the truth of the situation finally sunk in, I felt the desolation and loneliness. It was only then I had some idea of what that bishop was rather insensitively getting at. So began an earnest focusing on Father and a journey of personal discovery that would not have happened otherwise.

Now I’ve said before that I have always been a fan of Elijah. Admired his close relationship with God, boldness of speech, miracle-working and compassion. I even identified with his fear of a woman and escape to a cave. But I ignored the years he spent wandering in the wilderness being moulded by God.

Elisha followed his mentor Elijah wherever he went. He wouldn’t be put off and wanted what he had got. Elijah said he could have that, provided he kept his eyes on him as he was taken up to heaven. A difficult thing to do with all the fireworks, flashing lights and activity going on all around Elijah! Elisha then had to cross the Jordan and go it alone and find his own way.

We are all different, but I feel that if we want to be God’s man or woman, a ‘firsthand Christian,’ there may come a time when we find ourselves isolated for a purpose.

“Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his own clothes and tore them apart.” 2Kings 2:12 New International Version

“It is better to trust in the LORD than to depend on human leaders.” Psalm 118:9 New International Version

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A Double Portion

Years ago I attended a conference led by a minister with an international healing ministry. All week I sat at the front riveted by what was being taught and especially what I witnessed. I said to God, that although I wanted to be me and not a copy of anyone else, I wanted what that man had got. Believing it to be a God-given desire, I even asked for a double portion - twice what he had. I felt God was saying it would be granted, but it would have to be in His way and in His time- it was conditional. I also left the conference confident of the direction of any future ministry and got on with my family and working life.

Fast forward a number of years and I was flowing in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and in counselling and ministry. I felt fulfilled and dare I say it, successful? There was a problem though. The work was widening and snowballing and as I took on more I was drying up and giving out from empty. I was suffering, my wife was missing out and I soon realised I was headed for burnout and eventually illness took hold.

I had to let go of much of what had given me fulfilment and so began a prolonged period of wrestling with my condition and seeking God for understanding. Initially in painful desolation, but slowly moving into healing and even more slowly, redirection.

A friend in the village once remarked that my wife and I had 'slipped off the edge of the table.' Meaning we were outside of much of the usual church and social activities. She was right and we had struggled with it at first, but more than anything we wanted to be at the centre of God’s will for us. In anycase, most of what my wife and I do is not seen by others, it is hidden. At the start of this time someone with a prophetic ministry said to me that they felt God was saying that I was going to be “Busy, busy - in God’s service!” I was a little bemused, as God seemed to be doing just the opposite, but I hid it in my heart.

The sense of how God wants to use my wife and I is greater now, but we are less sure of the how and what and when, so we leave it to him. One thing for sure, is that we are totally reliant on Him and have to take each day as it comes, looking for his direction and enabling. We are expectant, but we don’t use that word ‘ministry’ anymore - we have exchanged it for intimacy.

What have I learnt so far? That God wants us to think big. He wants those godly desires brought to fulfilment and that He anoints boldness. Jesus only did what He saw His Father doing and if we are to do the same, we need to be in tune with Father. Also I have to be very sure of one thing: the power is God’s and not mine. We walk in the natural in obedience and He does the supernatural. Surrender is paramount and for some of us this can almost take a lifetime.

All very simple, but not easy, but more than worth it - and writing this has left me thoughtful.

“- Elijah said to Elisha, "Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?" "Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,"” 2 Kings 2:9

“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.” John 14:12-13 New International Version

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I Wanna Be The Leader

I wanna be the leader
I wanna be the leader
Can I be the leader?
Can I? I can?
Promise? Promise?
Yippee I'm the leader
I'm the leader

OK what shall we do?

This brilliant poem, “The Leader” by the English poet Roger Joseph McGough, always makes me smile. Perhaps because I identify with it, as ‘I’ve been there?’

In any group situation I often tended to take the lead and perhaps still do to some extent. It seems to come naturally. On the other hand I became aware of my predilection for being ‘centre stage,’ which was more to do with my inner ‘woundedness’ than any innate leadership quality.

During my secular career I have had various positions of leadership and like to think I did a good job. This was especially so when I became the ‘boss’ for a while, although I occasionally wonder how it would have been without the ‘badge’ of office as I do admit that the position did give me a ‘buzz’ at times. There was a danger of liking the position, but not the responsibility.

Some years ago, we were asked to write a profile for a new minister and we included the following just for starters, apart from any specific requirements:

• To have a dynamic intimate relationship with Jesus.
  
• To be still growing as a Christian and be prepared to be vulnerable and share out of this journey.
• To have a servant heart.
• To have a vision for the way forward and be able to show it.
• To have demonstrated good relationship abilities within family and fellow Christians.

The one thing I have learnt is that leadership in the Church is totally different to how it is in the world. In the Kingdom of God, where Jesus is in control, leadership is low key and comes out of being wholly available to God with a love for others, which in time may be recognised. It will also be seen that he or she knows where they are going and people will want to follow. In other words, ‘God anoints and eventually the people of God appoint.’

I believe most of us are called to show a lead in one way or another, according to our own circumstances and gifting - - and this challenges me.

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 New International Version

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A Servant Heart

We watched a remake of the musical, the "King and I," the other day. In this, Anna the governess, was told that she must always keep her head lower than the king's. It was just one of the ways he used to remind his subjects, that they were his servants. As king, he had to remain and be seen as 'top dog!'

This is just the opposite to how it is in God's Kingdom, where Jesus comes right down to our level as a Servant King!

At a low time in my life, when I was in great need and desperately reaching out to God for help, I suddenly became aware - and I can put it no other way - that Jesus was kneeling at my feet, looking up to me. Immediately, I felt Him ask, "What can I do for you?" This just stunned me and touched me to the core of my being! This was my God, kneeling at my feet, desiring to meet my needs.

I have always felt that I am somewhat lacking in a servant heart. But what I am learning, is that as we humble ourselves and allow Jesus to wash away the dirt in our lives; when we allow Him to minister to our deepest needs, something happens at the heart level. Our compassion and capacity to be available to God for others is increased and we are given something more than words, to pass on.

Jesus identifies with where we are, stoops down and waits for our response.

"After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. - - "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet." John 13:5-14 New International Version

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An Honest Testimony

Thirty five years ago I was bowled over and my life changed for ever. Partly through the living testimony of another, Jesus Christ met me at my point of need and I became a Christian. Looking back, I still marvel at the simplicity of that miraculous event. But that is a story in itself.

Over the years, my wife and I have struggled with the usual life issues, but can testify to God's provision, healing and amazing love in often remarkable ways. We can also say that despite our failings, it has been God who has kept us in marriage and brought us closer together. I have experienced my own dark valleys and wondered how I would get through, but discovered He was right there in the deprivation, ready to comfort and heal.

We've many stories of how God has worked in our lives, but what matters is what is happening today. Right now, because of chronic illnesses and disability we are finding things difficult and very trying. It's not that we are without hope, because we know that Jesus is really with us and promises to bring us through. But more than ever, we have to lean on Him for His enabling and each day there is something to delight.

This leads me to think about testimony - often interpreted as speaking of our conversion experience - which can be very powerful. However, I have heard old personal testimonies shared through gritted teeth and quivering lips. This didn't detract from the truth of what happened, but led me to wonder "What is it really like for that person now?" To speak of what is currently happening in our lives, as we try to reach out in faith, amidst all the doubts and difficulties is real and honest. It may also be more relevant to the listeners who identify with where we are.

I have occasionally heard, "God told us to give away all our belongings and live by faith!" By which they meant they were relying completely on God for their income. This may have been so, but if in reality it meant they were living off state benefits, then it should be said. Another was said to have given up a high-flying career and comfortable home to work in a particular ministry for God. The reality may have been that they took early retirement on a company pension and still had a second home in the country. Nothing wrong with that, but unless it is stated, people can be misled and given the wrong impression and even felt encouraged to copy. Some details are important.

Sharing what God is doing in our lives can be very powerful. It does not have to sound triumphant or victorious, but should be real and honest.

"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son." 1 John 5:11 New International Version

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