The Apple of His Eye

Our garden is steep and stony. It faces the sea and affords very little shelter against the prevailing salt-laden south westerlies. It can be a hostile environment for all except the right indigenous species. So not the best place for an apple tree, but we have one right outside our kitchen window. The variety is Laxton’s Superb and it’s fruit is crisp, sweet and full of flavour. We feed it and prune it, to keep it healthy and so it doesn’t sprawl too far.

It has surpassed all expectations this year, as the blossom had set well before the strong winds threatened to spoil. Even after the birds, insects and bugs had their fill, there were still plenty for us. We have been harvesting them well into the autumn, until we were left with just one apple, tenaciously clinging on to it’s stem. I decided to leave it until it was ready to drop and each morning as I made my coffee, I regarded it’s delightful rosy globe. It was a real delight to the eye. I came to love that apple, but eventually it’s time was up and yesterday I caught it before it dropped. We had it for lunch. It had reached it’s fruity prime, the best apple we had ever tasted.

If only we would stop what we are doing and give time to stand in Father’s gaze and take in the delight He has in us. When it sinks in deep, that He thinks we are special, when we really see ourselves as he sees us, it is life-changing and sets us up for when the going gets rough.

In other words; to read His Word makes a difference, but to stop and allow God to love us is something else!

“In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye,” Deuteronomy 32:10 New International Version

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On Retreat - 2

It was the first day of my retreat and I decided there would be just enough time for a short walk before lunch. The sun had broken through the gathering storm clouds, so I decided this was my window of opportunity. The path was tree lined and led to a dramatic viewpoint on the clifftop. It was easy level walking, which I took at a slow pace, to give the opportunity for my thoughts to roam.

As often happens before going away on such events, things occur that seem sent to try and unseat me and threaten my peace. The days before we left home, I received two items of news that had the potential to threaten my health and finances. I had already 'processed' these with Father, but as I strolled along, admiring the beauty all around me, these troublesome thoughts started to surface again. I allowed myself to feel the emotions involved, my vulnerability, even anxiety and offered these feelings up to God.

As I was doing this, the sky darkened and the rain came down in sheets. I was nearly at the viewpoint by then and sought refuge in a stone shelter. This was a rugged solid structure built into the hillside with local stone. Not only did it keep me dry, but I reckoned I would be safe from lightening, thunderbolts and even be bomb-proof. I sat on the bench and leaned against the wall. I had a perfect view of the storm outside, but felt totally safe and secure. It was as if God was reminding me, that whatever happens in my life, so long as I put my trust in Him, I am completely protected and secure with Him.

The rain stopped as suddenly as it started and I went outside to look at the sea view. A large rainbow arced over the sea and stopped me in my tracks. Yet another reminder that Jesus is my hope and He will never ever let me down.

By the time I decided to photograph the rainbow - something I have never tried before - it had started to fade, but I think you get the picture.

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings" Psalm 17:8 New International Version

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Absolute Care

I was always something of a worrier, so when I became a Christian it was a revelation to learn of a loving Father God, who cared for me personally. I was particularly gripped by the fact that He knew me inside out and had "every hair on my head counted!"

However, anxiety still remained a weak area in my life. I had difficulty trusting God with some things and thought it best to 'help' God out by worrying!

I feel it's not until we come up against circumstances that are out of our control, when we just don't have the answers anymore, when we cannot 'fix it,' that we become desperate and are given the opportunity to receive a deep heart knowledge of God's care. I'm thinking of situations like financial breakdown or illnesses that have no lasting medical solution for example.

Even then, if you are like me, you may stay in denial and pretend everything is still 'normal.' Perhaps, after clutching at straws, by trying anything that might just give a glimmer of hope, we come to an end of our own efforts. That is when, in all humility, we throw ourselves into Father's arms and give it all to Him. It may feel risky. It may change the direction of our lives for ever, but His care will be absolute.

He will never let us down. We can trust Him.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 New International Version

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"I Am With You!"

My journey with Father has been very much up and down, over the years. Perhaps there were too many peaks and troughs? There have been periods when the sense of His presence was so great, that I kept saying, "I never knew he was so close!" and "I will never be the same again!"

The last statement was true, because not long afterwards, that sense and feeling of His presence left me. It was taken from me. It was as if God knew what was on my heart and so wanted to raise the game. I was pitched into a dry 'wilderness' and for a long time it felt as if God just was not there. I felt bereft! I had to learn a very important lesson the hard way - is there any other way? - that His presence does not depend upon our senses or feelings or perception. I discovered that, if anything, He is even closer and available during those lonely, difficult times, than when everything appears rosy.

My journey of discovery continues.

When we become a Christian there is one absolutely amazing truth that is set in concrete and will never ever change. God, our loving Jesus, is with us. It may seem at times that He is hiding Himself from us, but I believe that is only because He longs for this intimate closeness to be more of a reality within us.

To know and know with concrete certainty on an on-going basis, that Jesus is with us, is absolutely life-changing and mind-blowing. This truth and reality is - He is - our security, our comfort, our strength, our life and our future.

He knows we need Him because that's the way we are made. But in a way that I don't understand, He needs us, although much of the time He has to do without us. He longs for our response.

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20 New International Version

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Our Inner Security

Our upside-down house - we live upstairs and sleep downstairs - is perched on a hillside overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and is about 200 yards from the beach. You may think it's an idyllic location and in many ways it is, but when the south westerlies blow, your perspective changes.

Three days ago, we were warned that the worst storm of the winter was imminent and all emergency services were put on alert. Later that evening, as the winds became more intense and howled down the chimney and our large living room window began to flex, I felt just a little vulnerable, if not anxious. We could have been on the deck of a small ship in a stormy sea. It's times like this, especially in the night, when anxieties can surface and hook into all sorts of fears. I sensed this and before going to bed, tried to put everything into God's hands the best I could. I particularly asked for protection for all the homes in our valley. After this, I felt a peace and contentment and surprisingly - and I say that because I'm a light sleeper - I slept like a baby through all the mayhem outside.

Next morning everything was intact, except some fencing had blown down and there was tree debris scattered all around. We turned on the news to see reports of flooding and storm damage and gave thanks that we had got off so lightly. We then had to drive the twenty miles into town and despite the main route into the village being under water and impassable and several large tree branches were partly blocking the other road, we made the journey without incident.

All this reminded me that many things we have taken for granted and even put our security into are being shaken. It's not just the weather and global warming, but the environment, food and fuel supplies and our financial institutions. Without getting into a theological discussion who is doing the shaking, all the signs seem to point to the fact that we are in for a hard time. It is clear the only thing we can be sure of, is to build our sure foundations on God. By that I don't mean just a mental assent to what we are told in the Bible, but a deep heart-knowledge of the Father's love as we surrender to Him. This is free, but is not handed to us on a plate. We need to want it.

"Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire" Hebrews 12:26-29 New International Version

"Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Mark 4:38-40 New International Version

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Stability in a Changing World

"I am the LORD, and I do not change" Malachi 3:6 Good News Bible

Things can never stay the same, but change in our lives and the world can have an unsettling effect upon us.

I used to like having things cut and dried and in order around me. It gave me a feeling of safety. I do like change though, especially if I have arranged it myself and it's enjoyable. However, if it comes out of the blue, out of my control and involves going into unknown territory, it can be scary. I may even find my inner security threatened.

My wife and I have experienced a number of events over the last two or three years, that could have ended in disaster or even tragedy. Thankfully God brought us through and I believe we are stronger because of it. It did however, reveal that I still have some weakness in the area of anxiety and I need to look to God to strengthen me in that department.

The whole world is changing and not necessarily for the good. Global warming seems to be having a drastic effect upon weather patterns, with forest fires, tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes and famine. We just cannot learn to live with one another and as a result there are civil wars, ethnic cleansing, suppression, human abuse and terror attacks. Financial crisis, property repossessions and unemployment, may be nearer to home. The list seems endless. These things may not impinge directly upon our lives, but we can't escape the overall consequences. Even thinking of these things, has the potential to engender fear in our hearts.

Thankfully, there is One who does not change. God is always the same. The world may seem to be collapsing around us, but He is always steady. He is our Rock, our true Foundation. Cleave to Him, surrender to Him, walk with him, stay close to Him and we will share in His stability in a changing world.

He must weep over what He sees in the world, but He waits .... patiently .... with open arms.

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