Christian Healing - 7 Personal

These last posts have been just a few of my thoughts on Christian healing. Not quite random, as I hope I have written as led by the Spirit. I am concerned however, not to give the impression in anyway that I am an expert. There is only one expert and his name is Jesus. So I feel I need to say where I stand personally on healing - if you haven’t worked that out already:

Over thirty years ago, my wife was diagnosed with an aggressive form of the disabling disease rheumatoid arthritis and told she could be in a wheelchair within four years. This changed the direction of our lives forever, was instrumental on bringing us to the Lord and set us on a course of discovery that drew us closer to Jesus in our struggles. My wife, although the illness progressed and is physically disabled to a degree, still lives to the full and the wheelchair did not materialise. Her doctors and others are amazed.

Several years ago I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - M.E. - and since then in looking to the Lord have received some healing. It’s as if He has been healing me slowly, ‘on the drip’, as I try to walk with Father in obedience. The last two or three years have been particularly challenging for us both. My wife experiencing two accidents - one in which she nearly died - and I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It has been a bumpy ride.

In our walk we have seen God enable us in amazing ways that we never thought possible. We still believe that God heals, but in His way and in His time. We live for today. We are even less sure what God has for us ‘tomorrow’, our future is in hands, we trust Him, He has brought us through so far and will not let us down. We are forever expectant.

If you would like to hear from my wife’s viewpoint, she is the Guest Blogger on my Senior Eagle blog this week. Look under: “The Thirty Nine Steps”.

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Dysfunctional Families

We had lunch with friends the other day and shared childhood memories. I said that I experienced some emotional trauma as a child and was left to develop my own ways of compensating and coping with it. My parents really loved and cared for me and really did their best, but I thought ours was a dysfunctional family. Our friends' view was that most families are dysfunctional in some way, which made me think.

When we marry, both partners are in many ways incompatible. They may be a strong love for each other, together with common interests. But because of the differences, there is a lot of working out to do in the relationship. This will be just the same when children come along. However, the family is a God-arranged 'institution' to provide the ideal environment to shape us and bring us to maturity.

I list below a few suggestions of the ideal requirements for a functional family. I stress that this is not a complete list and it is ideal:

• Both parents are present and available and demonstrate their love for each other openly and healthily.
• The children receive affection vocally, by touch and with eye contact.
• That communication is free and open.
• There is a listening environment, with the freedom to express emotional pain and fears, without condemnation or shame.
• The children are disciplined - I don't necessarily mean physical correction - in love with listening and full explanation.
• There are shared family activities.
• Children are increasingly encouraged to be themselves and not copies of their parents.
• There is affirmation and validation of the children's femininity or masculinity, by word and example.

I should think the same applies within the Christian family, the Body of Christ.The difference is, there are not the same blood ties and so we have the choice to avoid confrontational people or painful situations. On the other hand, because we have the same heavenly Father, the ties are even stronger and more powerful. There's the potential for a healthy family and loving relationships, where the members can find healing, fulfilment and discover their purpose in life.

"God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:6 New International Version

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The Husband's Challenge!

Getting married was the best thing I ever did. It has brought real fulfilment and happiness, but of course it hasn't all been married bliss. I didn't expect it to bring to the surface all my inadequacies, failings and above all my own emotional wounds. At times it has seemed more like a battlefield and it was only Jesus who has brought us through so far. I can now honestly say, that after so many years, we are closer together than ever.

So why the other day, did we suddenly have a such wordy confrontation, a spat, mini-row or whatever you may call it? I couldn't remember the last time that happened! What my wife said hurt me and I reacted strongly with words I regret. I was holding a chair at the time and just for a split second I could have thrown it across the room. For an hour or so I reverted to my old behaviour pattern and retreated to my den to nurse my hurt. The temporary rift was so painful, I just wanted to blank out the feelings.

Of course I know that attitude just doesn't work and anyway, I was not going to let the enemy have his way. I brought out the feelings with Father and worked them through with Him, before going to find my wife. We both knew that we hadn't spoken to hurt one another, but were speaking out of our own pain and frustration at the time, through tiredness and illness. We talked it through, listened to one another and forgave. That felt so good!

I once asked my wife what she looked for in a husband. The qualities didn't come as a surprise; courage, boldness, kindness, honesty and romance were just a few. But her answers and what I have gleaned from other women, lead me to the conclusion that the two qualities a Christian wife values above all others is submission and intimacy.

I believe a wife feels secure and close with a husband who is walking with God in surrender and obedience to Him and also is in touch with his own feelings and thoughts, which he will openly share with her and listen to hers. I know there's a lot more than that, but I go back to these two things time and again.

Getting to know God, getting to know ourselves, getting to know our wives -- getting there!

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up - In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. - For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:25-31 New International Version

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Heard But Not Listened

Our grandson is somewhere between toddler and small boy and I love him and really look forward to spending time with him. Apart from being lively, endearing and very good looking, he is great fun. When he says "I love you Grandad" it melts my heart. Then he'll say "Play with me Grandad?" That usually entails him coming up behind me and jumping on me from a great height, as I feign surprise. My muscles make me think I am getting a bit too old for this sort of thing?

On the other hand, there are times when he can be most exasperating. He gets so focussed on what he wants and what he is doing at that particular moment, that nothing else matters. He is not interested in anything else, no matter how important or vital. For his own good I try to reason with him, but to no avail. I try tactics to divert him away from his course of self destruction. It works sometimes, but often he will have none of it. Only the other week I told him to put his shoes on before going outside, but no, he knew better. Within minutes he was back crying with a bleeding toe! It's not a question that he's not heard me. He just does not want to listen!

Even though I am a great deal older, some of this sounds very familiar to me. Am I really open to listen and take notice of what my heavenly Father tells me? There was a time, not so long ago, when I was so wrapped up in the Christian work I was doing, that I ignored the longings of my own heart and so was not open to what God was saying about it. What I was involved in was good, others agreed, but it was not right for me and if I hadn't been given the grace to listen, I'm not sure where I would have ended up. I was hearing, but assumed those words were not for me.

Far more than a loving earthly father - or grandfather - Jesus has our very best interests at heart. God is always speaking and will use whatever means are just right for us. It's more a question of us wanting to know, being open to Him and taking time to listen. When we take notice and take on board what He is saying to us we prosper and flourish.

Oxford Dictionary definitions:

hear = to perceive sound with the ear
listen = attentively hear a person speaking, give attention with the ear, take notice of, to respond to advice or request.

"If my people would but listen to me -- you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." Psalm 81New International Version

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Finding Joy in the Humdrum

I've helped build motorways and nuclear power stations, controlled regional water supplies, climbed mountains and been engaged on Christian projects, but always tried to shoulder my responsibilities in the family and put them first. After retirement and through changed circumstances I became more involved with routine things. Just now and again I admit to entertaining thoughts, "Is this really what I am made for?"

Right now, after a particularly routine-filled week, I'm hanging out the washing. My wife says it's eco friendly, unlike tumble driers and it gives the clothes a blow and 'sweetens' them. I hang them up and she removes them at the end of the day. There are many advantages to this arrangement. It's my first smell of the fresh morning air, the best time of the day, full of promise. My muscles benefit from the gentle exercise and I have time to reflect on the day to come.

I didn't realise there was a skill in this. There's a right and wrong way of pegging out and I never seem to get it quite right. Why some garments are hung upside down and others right way up beats me! However, I excel in matching up the different types and colours of the pegs with the appropriate items of clothing. When all is done I stand back and proudly admire my display as it catches the breeze.

So what am I doing, writing about such a mundane boring activity? I'm discovering something that I should have done years ago. The secret is finding joy in the humdrum. As with all those other little jobs that have to be done each day, I'm pegging out the washing with Jesus.

I have done the big things and still look to Him for more, but it's Jesus Himself who is our peace and satisfaction, not the spiritual highs and thrills. If we don't learn to walk with Him in the routine, we may miss the adventure just around the bend!

"There are times when there is no illumination and no thrill, but just the daily round, the common task. Routine is God’s way of saving us between our times of inspiration. Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling minutes, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God." Oswald Chambers

"Only those who try to live near God and have formed the habit of faithfulness to Him in the small things of our daily life, can hope in times of need for that special light which shows us our path. To do as well as we can the job immediately before us, is the way to learn what we ought to do next." Evelyn Underhill

"He walked steadily with God" Genesis 5:22

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He Really Does Care

We've not long been back from two weeks away. It all went remarkably well, although we nearly didn't go!

It was to be a time for family business, keeping in touch and just enjoying each other. We really felt it was right to go and the timing was right for everyone. It would be a challenge, as my wife is disabled and I am still recovering from chronic fatigue (M.E.), so we always have to lean heavily on God for His provision, what we call 'His enabling.'

However, a few days before we were due to leave, things started to go wrong. My wife was diagnosed with an infection that we were told could be life-threatening. Then we heard that my wife's brother had been taken into hospital. There were other things that I'll not mention.

For a few hours I thought everything was going wrong and our plans, if not our lives, were turning pear-shaped. I began to worry about all the 'what-if's' and I felt under attack. Anxiety still tends to be a bit of a weak area for me, but I decided I would not give into circumstances. During all the phone calls and hospital visits I tried to keep focussed on Jesus and let it all go to Him. He has brought us through enough darkness for me to realise He will not let us down.

Guess what? My wife responded well to the prescribed drugs and although we left a day later than planned it was really, really good! The long car journey went like clockwork, as if the car had wings, even miraculously avoiding all traffic congestion on a busy route. It was one of the best times we have had with the family, with memorable experiences. Everything slotted into place, even to the extent of losing my car keys in a park and having them handed back to me within half an hour. We even arrived just in time to take my wife's brother home from hospital where he had successful treatment. The whole time was a catalogue of what we call 'God-incidences!'

The scripture says it all. Why worry about something in the future that most likely will never happen? Our heavenly Father really does care for every detail of our lives and provided we put our trust in Him, He will look after everything and His unlimited power will be available to us.

"Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 Good News Bible

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